Wedding Wisdom Part II: What No-No's to Know!

Our joyful wedding day was almost 49 years ago, at The Country Club of Virginia in Richmond. I was thrilled and honored to wear my mother-in-law’s wedding gown. Our get-away car? A Bell helicopter picked us up on the putting green by the terrace (that would never happen today!). Then, we were off to Bermuda to begin our married lives together. 

Why is June the most popular month for getting married? 

June is derived from Juno, the goddess of marriage and the protector of women. A wedding in June is considered auspicious, so the couple will be blessed with happiness! 

How grateful I am to have such a tradition-minded, international audience who takes the time to share their thoughts and experiences with me!

Case in point: while wearing an ALL-white outfit as a guest attending a wedding in the USA is a no-no, bridesmaids have often worn white in British weddings. The Late Queen Elizabeth II chose white for her bridesmaids, which continues to be a common practice in the UK. Royal wedding participants, i.e., Maid of Honor, Bridesmaids, and usually the children. It is a tradition from centuries ago when they believed white would repel evil spirits. I did not explain this before, so thank you, B.M. and L.C. 

Wish to hear more wedding no-no’s?  

Here are a few that you kindly shared with me: 

~ The biggest no-no in my mind is to accept an invitation and then not show up… especially considering the cost of a sit-down dinner!  

 J.M. 

~ Arriving late to a marriage ceremony is a no-no! Guests, please plan to arrive at least 20 minutes early so that you may be escorted to your seat and not hold up the ceremony. 

P.S.

~ Please tell guests to send their wedding gifts sooner rather than later. Send your wedding gift within a week or two after you have received your invitation! Bringing a gift to the reception is a no-no; a bride should not be burdened with organizing the delivery of any presents from the reception venue.  Also, I am a recent bride, and getting a thank-you note out before the wedding versus after is much easier!

A.C.
~ It is a no-no to make the bride inquire about who may have sent a gift, so be sure your card is securely attached.

B.D.

~ Ask the bride or mother of the bride the best address to send your gift. The address on the invitation and response envelope may be the address of the bride's parents or even the wedding planner. It may be easier for the bride to have the gift sent to her address instead!

A.M.H. 
 

Thank you all for inspiring others to subscribe to my newsletter—wow!! 

Please know how grateful I am to you for being so graciously appreciative and supportive. 

Sending pink wishes,

xx

Holly

Wedding Guest No-No's: What you need to know!

The bells of the Berlin Dom were ringing as Alexandra and Maximilian walked down the stairs after their wedding ceremony 17 years ago!  

Love, laughter, and a “happily ever after!”

It’s June, the month of roses and weddings! 

Being a guest at a wedding is a treat, but more importantly, witnessing a marriage ceremony is an honor.

Several mother-of-the-bride subscribers have shared their experiences with me about what a guest should NOT do at a wedding!  Weddings are truly personal. Times have changed, from pink wedding dresses to ceremonies under the sea. Today, anything goes.  But for those of you whom cherish tradition, here are some “No-Nos,” as a little reminder, for guests attending a wedding.  

No-no: To not follow the dress code.
 

What IS done: When in doubt, contact the bride or the mother of the bride to determine what to wear. If the invitation indicates a term you are unsure of, such as “resort chic,” be sure to ask what is expected for attire!
 

No-No:  For a lady guest to wear ALL white.
 

What IS done: Accessorizing with white is fine, but an all-white outfit is reserved for the bride. (Yet when Catherine Middleton, now the Princess of Wales, was a bride, her sister Pippa wore an all-white gown… times are a-changin!)  Also, refrain from wearing black. Why? It is a joyous day of celebration, so choose your dress with that in mind. You may wish to inquire what color the bridesmaids will be wearing, so you will not be wearing the same color. 
 

No-No:  To ask if you may give a toast at the last minute.
 

What IS done:  If you wish to give a toast, ask the bride and groom for their blessing well in advance of the wedding.  Toasts are traditionally delivered by the bride's father, the best man and the maid of honor, and are planned before the wedding date.

Our son, Stuart III, and his new wife, Karen, joyfully departed The Everglades Club in Palm Beach. Their wedding inspired me to write my second book, Pearls of Palm Beach. 

No-No:  To say “congratulations” to the bride.
 

What IS done: Say “best wishes” to the bride. Why?  “Congratulations” is reserved for the groom because he was fortunate to have “caught and married” such a lovely lady. This is an old Victorian tradition. Yet, it continues in old-school etiquette.  As an alternative, guests may extend their “best wishes” to both the bride and groom. 
 

No-No: To wear sunglasses in church or during any professional wedding photographs. 
 

What IS done: An old-school rule of thumb: don’t wear sunglasses to a wedding ceremony or reception. But, in this age, sunglasses are permissible on a sunny day outside, but kindly remove them when asked to be in a photo. 
 

No-No: To take photographs in the church.
 

What IS done:  A photographer has been hired by the bride to document the wedding ceremony, so let them do their job. As a guest, your responsibility is to show up and respectfully savor the ceremony with your eyes. Take photos after the ceremony outside of the church or ceremony venue.

 

No-No: To keep your cell phone on during the marriage ceremony in a church or any venue. 
 

What IS done: Turn your phone to silent. Also, without “vibration mode” because subtle noises can be distracting during the marriage ceremony. 
 

No-No: To post photographs of the wedding without first asking permission from either the bride, groom, or mother of the bride.

Our youngest daughter, Caroline and her new husband, Edward, departing Marble House in Newport, Rhode Island.

What IS done: It is always thoughtful to ask before posting. The bride may want to choose from her professional photographs to be posted first on social media on their actual wedding day. 
 

No-No: To take flowers from the reception tables after the reception.
 

What IS done: If you have been invited to take the flowers, then, do so.
 

No-No: To not promptly (within one week) R.s.v.p. to the wedding reception invitation.
 

What IS done:  Respond to the wedding invitation as soon as possible (preferably within 48 hours) of receiving your reply card. This tends to be the biggest challenge for brides and requires them to reach out to guests before the wedding date to get an accurate headcount. 
 

No-No: To indicate a “wedding gift registry” on a wedding or bridal shower invitation. 
 

What IS done: Guests may contact the bride or the shower hosts and ask where the bridal couple is registered. A wedding website, which can include their registry, may be indicated on the “Reserve the Date” card. 
 

No-No: Asking to bring a guest (someone other than the person indicated on the invitation envelope) is a no-no.
 

What IS done: Honor and respect whoever is indicated on the invitation. If your children or “and Guest” is not mentioned, they are not invited. 
 

No-No: To change your place card seating at your assigned reception table.
 

What IS done:  You have been placed where you are for a reason! No matter how tempting it is to change your seating to be close to friends or whomever, do not. Honor your seating assignment. Then, once the meal ends, you can excuse yourself to the dance floor and mingle with others. 
 

No-No: To stay seated when the bride enters the church. 
 

What IS done: Standing is a show of respect and admiration.  Keep your eyes on the mother of the bride.  When she stands, the guests should stand. If she stays seated, the guests should conform and follow suit. 

Stuart and I hold hands when the bride and groom say their vows. It's our quiet way of acknowledging our vows for each other. Cheers to joyful wedding ceremonies!

Xx

Holly

Holly's secret "white" trim paint color!

Choosing the appropriate white paint color for your wood trim is worth your time and consideration. The color shown on the pediment and trim around the c.1803 mahogany door at Fox Hall is my secret “white” paint color!

Dear Ones, 

May I ask you a BIG favor? I have been given a challenge, and I need your assistance to accomplish it! Could you please help me double my 20K subscribers for “Secrets to Lovely Living” by inviting one or two friends and family to subscribe? I know I can meet this challenge with your help… pretty please. 

Xx Holly

Now, let’s talk white paint!

There are a myriad of “white” paint color options. I am frequently asked what my favorite white paint color is for walls, ceilings, and wood trim.  Because “white” paints can have hidden undertones that tend to be cold or warm, it can be challenging to decipher which white to choose. 

So, what is my secret, tried-and-true white paint color for trim?  

It is Benjamin Moore: White Dove OC-17. 

Why do I specify White Dove?

White Dove’s tonality brings softness and warmth to an interior while still looking white. It works exceptionally well in historic houses. I have it on the trim in ALL of our houses and specify it for my client's newer houses, too.

What trim paint finish do I prefer?

A semi-gloss finish on the wood trim in most rooms and a high-gloss finish for the trim and cabinetry in kitchens, children’s rooms, sunrooms, and bathrooms. 

Why do I specify Benjamin Moore's paint?

It is durable and fade-resistant, has superior coverage, expands and contracts with weather fluctuations, and is rich in pigment. From experience, I think their color swatches and paint fan-deck colors are exceptionally accurate, making my job easier. 

Here are a few other “Holly” options for Benjamin Moore (BM) whites for trim and walls:

BM White Dove OC-17 When I want white walls, I use this in a flat finish and on the ceiling to match the walls. 

BM Opal White OC-73 is a soft, pastel peachy-pink that enhances anyone’s complexion!

I like it on walls in a flat finish, with White Dove semi-gloss on the trim. This very becoming color is on my office and dressing room walls!

BM Linen White 92 is a warm beige. 

Linen White is on the walls in the baby’s room at Fox Hall in a flat finish, with a semi-gloss White Dove on the trim, which complements the celadon floral chintz on the curtains and bed hangings. Our carriage house, Little Fox, also has Linen White on most walls, with White Dove on the trim, keeping it all neutral for the Airbnb tenants. 

BM Super White 02 has a cool tonality and works well for more modern interiors, both on the walls and the trim.  

BM Atrium White OC-145 is creamy with peachy undertones.  

BM China White OC-141 has a grey tonality.  It works with grey and black accents.

My office at Fox Hall has flat Opal White on the walls and ceiling, with semi-gloss White Dove trim.

I had the furniture lacquered in Palm Beach in glossy White Dove, which blends in with the bedroom's White Dove trim.

White Dove, in a flat finish, is lovely on walls and ceilings, especially when the wood trim color contrasts, as exemplified in our Living Room at Fox Hall.

GrandMillennial Tips:

The best way to accurately see the complexity and true tonality of any white color you choose is to place your “white” color swatch, or the actual paint, on white printer paper. It will reveal its true color right before your eyes.

When painting your house, try to use the same color for ALL of the trim! This makes it effortless to touch it up at any time. Between vacuum cleaner bumps and shoe knicks on the stair risers, there are never-ending touchups at Fox Hall. This family house is happily “lived in” with eight grandchildren, a dog, a gardening husband, and constant entertaining! 

If your trim is in White Dove, paint your ceiling in a flat White Dove to blend in with the White Dove on the trim. 

So, what is your go-to “white” for trim and walls? I’d love to know!

What is my “secret pink” for the Living Room walls at Petite Fox in Palm Beach?

BM 2078-80 Pink Peony, cut 50% with white!  I use a flat finish on the walls, with White Dove semi-gloss on the trim. Then, I have the BM 2078-80 made in an even softer shade for the ceiling, so it is cut with 75% white, which gives the ceiling just a hint of pink!  

It has been an honor to share my “secrets” with you. Thank you again for helping me to meet my challenge to double my subscriber numbers. I know we can do it!  

Xx 

Holly

Grosgrain Glamour! A timeless and tailored decorative trim.

A simple, quietly understated 1” wide grosgrain ribbon trim adds a tailored touch to a classic Bob Collins chintz dust ruffle in Palm Beach. 

What decorative trim is timeless, tailored, and unbelievably cost-effective?  It is used to enhance curtains, valances, upholstery, pillows, dust ruffles, and it even graces dresses, hats, shoes, and ponytails.

It is a grosgrain ribbon! (Pronounced: GROW-grain)

Grosgrain is a very versatile ribbon. It has a distinctive ribbed texture which also serves to enhance its durability, more so than satin or silk ribbons. Its matte finish is not flashy, making it a quiet classic. 

I have used Samuel & Sons grosgrain ribbons for years for my clients.  This kind of ribbon can also be easily obtained on the internet, like this roll of 2” white ribbon.

Grosgrain in the 17th century referred to a garment fabric that was black and durable.  In the 1920s “grosgrain ribbon” was introduced, and now, there are a multitude of colors and printed designs available. 

I like to think of grosgrain ribbon as having a “distinguished appearance.” It continues to embellish evening wear, like the bow on a gentleman’s formal black evening pumps.

It was love at first sight when Stuart purchased these shoes in London for me with the pink grosgrain ribbon bow! 

Consider applying a 1” to 2” wide grosgrain ribbon along the leading edge and bottom hemline of your curtain panels.  Choose a complementary color to the fabric design or room scheme… or simply choose a neutral color, like white. 

These curtain pull-panels have 1½” white grosgrain ribbon. It is applied one inch off of the leading edge of the panels.  

I specify a grosgrain ribbon trim to be sewn about ½” to 1 ½” off the leading edges on a curtain panel.  Where it is placed depends on the pattern of the fabric, the height of the room, and the width of the curtains. Two or more smaller ribbons can be added, too. 

This grosgrain ribbon has “picot” edges which adds a touch of femininity. This bow pulls back the bed hangings on my daughter’s bed at Fox Hall. 

Have fun, be clever, and think outside of the box when designing with grosgrain ribbon.  Ever since I was sixteen, I have applied grosgrain to my dress designs and hairbands… I never tire of it! 

XX

Holly

PS Please be a dear.... share this with a friend and inspire them to subscribe! 

The secret to properly popping a champagne bottle cork!

Pink champagne is traditionally served at Fox Hall for just about any occasion! 

When champagne is served, it instantly becomes a celebration!  Our daughter, Alexandra, and her husband, Maximilian, are hosting a Black-tie celebratory party here in Berlin. It is a “Trifecta,” as both their birthdays and anniversary are all within one week of each other in May! 

My granddaughter offered to help serve champagne, so the topic arose: How does one properly pop the cork on a bottle of bubbly?  

I have observed my darling husband open countless champagne bottles throughout the years. His technique is quiet and the popped cork remains in his hand. One may think that the loud “POP” sound, accompanied by a “darting cork" is the way it is done (as often portrayed in the movies) however, the quieter the “pop” of the cork, the more elegant “the pour!” 

So, how does one properly open a champagne bottle? Twist the bottle, NOT the cork! 

Champagne was created in France BY accident, and if you are not careful to remove the cork correctly, you can have AN accident!  The cork can become a dangerous projectile, a flying bullet.  The pressure behind a champagne cork is approximately 90 psi, equivalent to three times the pressure in a car tire!

As we arrived at Chateau de Villette, outside of Paris to attend a stunning wedding, we were greeted with gentlemen servers in the grand hall, who poured champagne into the quintessential “coupe” glass. This glass shape became fashionable in the 1700’s and has a unique history about its shape… that’s a whole other topic!

More secret champagne tips:

-Be sure the bottle is chilled, preferably to 45 degrees Fahrenheit.  

NOTE: if the bottle is NOT cold enough, the cork can release even more quickly because of the pressure inside the bottle. A bottle of champagne at room temperature has more pressure, which creates a bigger pop and more effervescent spray than a chilled bottle!

-Pop the cork away from anyone or anything valuable… no secret there! 

-Hold the bottle at a 45-degree angle. Untwist the wire cage counterclockwise, and lift it off while also keeping pressure on the cork. 

-Twist the bottom of the bottle, not the cork!  Keep pressure on the cork with your hand, and pull the bottle down as you twist it.  By twisting the bottle, you can control the release of the cork. 

GrandMillennial Tips:

Using a mixture of 50 percent water and 50 percent ice is an expedient way to quickly chill a bottle of champagne. Use this 50/50 mixture in a pretty ice bucket and fill it a third of the way up.

Draping a folded linen napkin over the cork while removing it is a simple and elegant precautionary measure.

Overlooking the stupendously beautiful gardens at historic Chateau de Villette while sipping French champagne was simply glorious and transported me to another time, one of pure elegance.  

My mother-in-law lovingly says, “Tiny bubbles taste better!”  She always has a few chilled bottles of champagne on hand to serve for any occasion. That’s a lovely gesture to adopt, right?!

Cheers to YOU from Berlin! I am most grateful for your enthusiastic support and wish you many joyful “bubbly” celebrations! 

XX

Holly

PS Please be a dear.... share this with a friend and inspire them to subscribe! 

A secret magic wand for "Brown Furniture!"

Here is the “after” photo of a bed that had “the secret magic wand” treatment!

Have you heard talk about how younger generations no longer want “brown furniture?” Yet, on the other hand, they want sustainable, good-for-the-environment furniture. Well, guess what? Using “brown furniture” is a way to go green! If you don’t like the brown color, then transform “brown” into something you’ll love and use. 

I’m not speaking about superlative antiques, but let’s say you have inherited a piece of furniture that has sentimental meaning to you but is… humdrum?  Or you have a piece of furniture that remains quietly sequestered in the garage or basement?  These are “Cinderella” pieces awaiting a magic wand to transform their beauty into showstopper caliber.  

Want a wand?  Here it is: lacquer paint!  Lacquer paint can immediately revamp any piece of wood furniture, even kitchen cabinets, because it instantly enhances their outer beauty. 

Can you see the outer beauty in this ugly stepsister, homely-looking bed?  It is the same, “fit for a princess”  bed shown above in lacquer with a semi-gloss finish! It is in “Dove White,” which is my go-to white.

Lacquer is thin in consistency, but stronger than paint. It can be tricky to apply because it dries very quickly, much faster than paint (hence it needs to be sprayed on). If not applied correctly, it can bubble and crack.  

Lacquer has a very durable finish and cures within 24 hours, whereas oil enamel paint can take weeks to cure. There are many versions of lacquer paint, and each artist uses their own formula. Experts in lacquer application know what combination works best for each specific application. 

To find an expert source that specializes in spraying lacquer paint, ask your local paint store such as Benjamin Moore or Sherwin Williams, or ask a designer for their recommendations. In Palm Beach, I worked with Javier Tovar who studied at Faux Effects International School.

I discovered this Asian-inspired curio cabinet at a W. Palm Beach consignment shop.  It is now black, high gloss lacquer with gold accents and is repurposed as a bar cabinet for our wine glasses. 

The two lacquer finishes that I specify are semi-gloss and high gloss, depending on the piece. Start your lacquer trial with a small piece of furniture to see how you like it, and then work up to larger, more significant pieces. 

A tired, old piece of furniture that is professionally lacquered can instantly metamorphose into a newer, younger-looking piece- consider it a “facelift” for brown furniture! Watch out… you may get hooked with this radiant transformation process. Lacquering pieces in white is perfect for tropical locales, such as Palm Beach!  

Xx 

Holly

PS Please be a dear.... share this with a friend and inspire them to subscribe! 

Have you named your house?!

With my affinity for foxes, an English painting of a running fox is prominently placed above the second landing in our front hall.  One of Fox Hall’s notable architectural triumphs are the two Palladian windows located on the same wall in the front hall.  It is one of the only houses in America with this distinctive feature.  The name we chose included “hall” and hence,“Fox + Hall” was a fitting appellation for our home. 

When my daughter Alexandra lived in England with her husband, both of their houses came with a name.  It was then that I realized that an English country house is actually required to have a name. The house name is used as the mailing address versus a house number and street address as we do in America. 

Create a name for your house or apartment and have fun with it! 

For two hundred years, our c.1803 house has historically been referred to as the General Soloman Cowles house, and it will always be associated with the house, but we created our own name, Fox Hall soon after we moved in twenty-five years ago. 

On the cover of my “Pearls of Palm Beach'' book is “The English House.” Their linen closet is filled with towels and linens embroidered with the house name, shown in the Darling Details section of my book. 

Not only is it delightfully dignified to have a name for your house, it is also a reason to have towels embroidered, stationery engraved, and a multitude of treasures created with the name and/or theme. From a doormat to a bespoke mailbox, tissue box, waste bin, ice bucket, butter mold, door knocker, and bookplates for your books, there are endless options! Create a name that you adore and that has a unique meaning to you, or has a historical reference. 

When we decided to name our carriage house, we took a family vote and “Little Fox” won.  The  same scenario for our abode in Palm Beach.  “Petite Fox” became the appointed name!

My embroiderer created a unique “Little Fox” design for the linens at our carriage house. 

Grandmillennial Tip:

Using the name of your house can be used to personalize gifts you give to others. We filmed the pilot TV show for my public television series in a stunning house in West Hartford, Connecticut. The owners gave me a limoge box as a memento gift which has a rendering of the house on the front and the house name they created, Eyrie Knoll, on the back. I smile at the memory it brings whenever I see it! 

What is your house name?!

Xx 

Holly

PS Please invite one friend to subscribe! Let’s keep the gracious living alive. 

Is Holly Holden a "dress" designer or an "interior" designer?

This was taken as we were filming an episode of my PBS series in the Drawing Room at Highclere Castle, aka Downton Abby. As a designer, I was enamored with the silk damask wall upholstery, matching curtains and stunning tassels, all of which were a gift to the 5th Countess of Carnarvon by her father, Alfred de Rothschild.

Photo credit: Deb Key

Storytime… a mini peek about me, so pour a cup of tea!

Quite often, I am asked “when and why” I began to design dresses, especially since my business is interior design. Well, it is probably not what you think- I have been designing dresses for longer than you may imagine. Here is my story: 

My darling Daddy, whom I loved and adored, died suddenly from a heart attack when I was sixteen… I was devastated. On top of that challenge, my Mum did not have access to any money in the bank for over six months because of a mistake the bank made. I never understood why,  but it happened, and she was too proud to let her family help us. 

During that time, I was invited to dances, debuts, and cotillions, which required a long and short party dress wardrobe. It was time to make lemonade out of lemons!

Our neighbor knew how to sew, so I asked her to teach me. As a novice, I thought it would be “easy peasy.”  “I’ll start with a dress,” right? I worked diligently on the pretty pink (a given!)  silk fabric. I never thought to try it on until I finished inserting the final touch: the gosh-darn zipper. I was so proud and excited until… I tried it on. “Dolly-size” comes to mind; that is how small the neck was! Live and learn. 

Practice, practice… before long, I could make a skirt in an hour and a long gown in a day. I added grosgrain ribbon embellishments and a small bow to the back of my creations. I adored going to the fabric store, choosing the fabric and decorative ribbon details, and creating my signature “Holly” designs. 

A Christmas article for Town & Country magazine at The Homestead in Hot Springs, Virginia featured my daughter, Alexandra and me. I designed and created my black velvet and gold embroidered brocade ballgown. 

Then, as a bride of 21 on a limited budget, I continued my sewing creativity, from colorful saddle pads for my horse to formal swag and jabot curtains for our CT historic houses, to Lilly Pulitzer fabric dresses, and brocade ballgowns. 

When our three children were young, I started an evening handbag business made of woven grosgrain ribbons. 

Learning how to sew turned out to be a lifetime gift. When I started my interior design business at age 35, I knew how to communicate with seamstresses and upholsterers. I understood fabrics, linings, and trims. I studied dress and curtain designs up close at every historical museum, couture store, or 5-star hotel we visited in Europe and took notes on how they were fabricated. 

Between my business and busy family, I had to stop sewing altogether. But a decade ago, my sweetheart husband, Stuart, indulged me and introduced me to his Hong Kong tailor on a splendid trip there, and encouraged me to design dresses with him. Oh, this tailor could execute masterful details, just like the well-made suits he created! We then began to meet two times a year. I would sketch out my vision and choose the fabric, and his workroom would then create each piece with precision and flair. 

Maria Pucci of Gramercy Atelier discovered me on Instagram three years ago and reached out. We met in Palm Beach at the Brazilian Court Hotel. I saw firsthand her magnificent bespoke creations at her trunk show. Maria is known for her custom designs, especially for the Mother of the Bride, special occasion dresses, and jackets. Her classic designs and attention to detail spoke to me. I had met my twin and we just HAD to work together! Her workroom could create my dresses for a larger audience. 

So, in January 2024, we collaborated together to create the “Holly Holden Collection '' with some of Gramercy Atelier's signature fabrics and styles as part of the collection- a dream come true for me.  We designed 12 pieces which includes my signature dresses available as a ready to wear collection online at Gramercy Atelier’s website.

Our first parlay was the ballgown I designed as the Chair of the Palm Beach Salvation Army’s Centennial White-tie “Paradise Ball.”  She had a muslin mock-up made and sent it to me in CT. I  modeled it, and we made a few tiny tweaks easily over FaceTime. I sent the sample dress back to her workroom in NYC. A few weeks later, I received the finished ballgown in the mail. It fit me with kid-glove perfection! (See the video of my HH Collection below)

I named each dress after stylishly “generous to charity” Palm Beach philanthropists from the 1960s. My dresses represent timeless and classic designs and are elegantly chic and feminine.

Take a peek at the collection HERE. Various colors and options are also available. What a joy it would be to know you are wearing one of my creations! I would be so grateful if you would help me introduce my collection worldwide.

Xx 

Holly

PS: Please be a dear and forward this to a friend who may be “on the hunt” for a pretty dress for a special occasion! 

Holly's Secrets to a Memorable Dinner Party!

Mummy always said, Everything tastes better in candlelight!” And, I do believe it does! 

Some hosts have a natural affinity for hosting memorable dinner parties effortlessly. Within moments of arriving at a home, you know whether it will be a jolly affair… or not.

I was asked what two elements a successful host should strive to master: joyful energy and elegant ease! 

I realize how fortunate I was to observe my parents, who entertained constantly. We moved worldwide, and within two weeks, Mummy would host an elegant dinner party with ease… she had a gift.   So, by osmosis, mimic, and practice, I learned.  Stuart and I love to entertain. Several of you nudged me to share a few of our secret tricks! 

Moments before our guests arrive:

We savor a few cherished moments and sip a glass of wine in anticipation of our guests' arrival. This is not always easy to accomplish, as there are always last-minute details one must attend to, right?!  But, it is well worth the effort, if possible. We enjoy each other and admire the house's appearance in eager anticipation of our guests, before the party commences. 

-Stuart selects the wines and will always pre-pour some glasses of red, white and also, some pink champagne and then, places them on a table near the door so he can greet guests with a glass of their choice straight away. Or, they can choose another drink to bring to them. By having a few glasses pre-poured, it is seamless to offer a drink to an arriving guest. (Let’s get this party started!) 

Cocktail Hour: 

~ If a guest has sent flowers in advance, I thank them and acknowledge the gift when they arrive. 

-Have vases readily available should a guest arrive with cut flowers from their garden. 

-When receiving a hostess gift, I thank them and place it on a nearby chair or table. You only need to open it after they leave. Your job is to greet guests.

~Most people like to stand and mingle because  know they will be seated and stationary at dinner. Let them stand! Others may choose to sit down.

~People like to be close together; “herd animals” comes to mind! Let them be close!  I laugh out loud because the hallway at Fox Hall is rawwther spacious, yet time and time again, I find clumps of guests squeezed next to one another inside the living room and hallway doorways. This is a natural instinct. Let them be! 

-Turn the lights down exceptionally LOW, or turn them off, and light the candles in the dining room. Guests glow under candlelight! 

After you light your candles, turn the lights off or dim them so the candlelight creates an enchanting space to dine. 

~ To announce that dinner is being served, I go to the kitchen, retrieve the antique Swiss cowbell our daughter, Alexandra, gave us, and start ringing it as I walk toward the guests. It is loud yet charming! (In Palm Beach, I use my little red tinkling Salvation Army bell!) This tradition of ringing a bell always brings a smile and a sense of excitement for the next chapter of the evening.

Dinner:

~ Use place cards for your dinner guests or use my unique seating assignment technique.

~ PS Guests: Always keep a place card at your assigned seat; NEVER move it!

~ Have a tray of chocolates, candied ginger, or something sweet to pass after everyone has finished their dessert. It is unexpected, and most guests happily indulge! 

~ Invite your guests to make a wish! As we adjourn to the next room, I occasionally invite lingering guests to choose a candle on the table and blow it out. A few of them stay, close their eyes, and blow the flame while wishing; it is such a sweet gesture. (By the way, this is an important, non-negotiable tradition that our children and grandchildren take VERY seriously. I often have to relight candles so everyone gets a wish. Little Stuie IV insists I light it several times… for many wishes!)

~ If you adjourn into another room for coffee or brandy, at some point, serve old-fashioned cocktail glasses filled with ice water or Perrier to your guests.  Late in the evening, water is always appreciated.

Departure:

~ If you have additional cookies or sweets, wrap them up (preferably have this done before your party) and give them to your guests upon departure. 

~ Always walk your guests to the door or elevator to say goodbye.  If it is a single lady or elderly guest, the host should accompany them to the car.  

Nighty-Night!

Take a moment to relish the evening before you go to bed.  If you have staff to clean the dishes, lovely, but if not, do them in the morning. End your evening with happiness in your heart before you collapse into bed and count your blessings! 

Xx 

Holly 

Avert Dinner Party Dilemmas: Ask your guests this question!

My carrot soup with fresh ginger makes an easy first course to serve and is a perfect option for any vegetarian guest. 

Many years ago, in my entertaining roster of memories, I learned a valuable lesson, one I wish to pass along to you!  When you invite guests to your house for dinner (or any meal for that matter), once they accept, I urge you to then ask them “THE question”: 

“Do you have any food allergies or dislikes?!”

Oh boy, I learned this the hard way. At one of our first big dinner parties Stuart and I hosted years ago, I made my foolproof beef tenderloin with a bearnaise sauce… divine, right? Well, JUST as our ten guests were seated at the table and dinner was being served, one couple announced that they were vegetarians! Really? Why did they not advise me of this when they accepted my invitation? It is the guest’s responsibility to tell the host.

What did I do? It just so happened that I had a box of organic butternut squash soup. (Adding a few red pepper flakes and a dash of Madeira wine, it tastes delicious… in a pinch!) I asked our server to warm up the soup and serve it to them. Phew, my “hostess dilemma” was diverted. From that day on, I always ask the guests “THE question” once they accept my invitation. 

Once, I was planning to serve my chicken cordon bleu recipe, which is rolled in a mustard and sour cream sauce and then breaded. I found out that one of my guests was allergic to mustard… go figure, mustard?! (No cordon bleu for you- change of menu!)  One only knows what allergies someone has if they ask, or if the guest offers to share with the host in advance. 

I would rather know if someone doesn't like something, too. If you don’t like lamb or lima beans, you are probably not going to tell me that in advance unless I ask you. Once I know your dislikes, I can try to accommodate and change the menu. 

GrandMillenial Tips:

~It is your responsibility as a guest to tell your host if you have allergies or are vegetarian, etc.  The purpose of their invitation is for you to have a most enjoyable experience.

~It is a good idea to have a vegetarian, quick and easy backup to serve.For example, a baked squash or additional vegetables….or, you can always just give a double portion of your mashed potatoes!

Here is one of my secret go-to recipes for an hors d’oeuvres:

~Many people now have wheat or gluten allergies, so I substitute bread rounds with cucumber rounds for one of my favorite, one-bite, passed hors d’oeuvres.  I thinly slice the cucumber rounds, spread them with chive Boursin cheese, place a piece of smoked salmon on top, along with a few capers on top of the salmon (and a tiny sprig of fresh dill if I have it).  Ladies love it because cucumbers have fewer calories than bread. It is always a winner!

I hope you will forward this to your darling friends and family.  By asking guests about allergies or food dislikes in advance, it may save you, and your guests too, from an uncomfortable and unnecessary “sticky situation.” 

Allergies or not, what host doesn’t love a party that is joyful, seamless, and filled with merriment for their guests? Cheers to that!

Xx 

Holly

The Art of Reciprocation: Inspiring Responses!

Serving pink champagne is a festive way to commence a ladies' luncheon, but an elegant and easy alternative, which is not expensive, is cranberry juice and soda water.

Last week I touched on reciprocation, “the forgotten art of hospitality,” and you, my dear subscribers, are passionate about it! 

I received more letters than ever in favor of this simple principle of giving and receiving… and the lack of it in today’s society. Today, I am featuring just a few heartfelt notes I received to confirm that you are not alone; reciprocity reflects the basic human desire to create a sense of balance and fairness in our social interactions!  And it does not have to cost a fortune to reciprocate hospitality. Take a peek…

Dear Holly,

This topic never seems to be discussed—thank you for sharing your commentary.  I, at one time, thought I had too many expectations for reciprocation. However, as my mother would say, it is simply “good form” to return a lovely time with a lovely time.  It is the ultimate thank-you note and an acknowledgment of generosity.  

I appreciate all of your posts! Thank you again. 

R.K.

Dear Holly, 

I enjoyed the topic in your column today. I have experienced the same lack of courtesy so many times. Even in the 80s, my parents would wonder why so many people attended their parties and never contacted them again.

These days, there seems to be an even more significant lack of empathy towards others. Many times, I throw parties with an RSVP request, and people can't even respond with a yes or no. When you're inviting 30-40 people over, this poses a problem. I've had people show up for a party wearing clothes so casual that I wouldn't even wear them to bed, much less a party. (In that instance, these guests left early, a little embarrassed.)  

Most people do not even think to ask, "Is there anything I can bring?"  It is even rare to get an email thank you after the event.  

I put this thoughtless behavior down to the following:

1. Lack of civility in our country in general

2. A multitude of distractions, giving people the idea that a party or dinner is on par with watching a show on NetFlix, always available at the touch of the remote!

3. Emphasis on 24/7 work demands in some people's lives.

My best,

L.H.

Dear Holly,

Ahh, another HH Monday morning home run !!! Thank you for addressing this topic. Reciprocation and handwritten thank-you notes are becoming a lost art. When I first came to PB I was perplexed I would invite people for drinks or a meal in my home. Rarely did I get invited into theirs. I assumed nobody in PB entertained at home, just at a club or restaurant. I concluded reciprocation at home was a northern custom. I have maintained for decades; please invite me to your home. It's about sharing your space. It's fine to open a jar of pasta sauce; the point is reciprocation!! You don't need fancy stemware or a grand entertainment space. It's about inviting me into your home. This is similar to the lost art of a thank you note, which has been replaced by a text. So sad. Thank you again.

D.Q.

I truly enjoy arranging flowers for centerpieces, but a flowering plant, a sculpture, or a porcelain soup tureen is less expensive and an elegant and easy alternative. 

Dearest Holly,

I am just tickled that you wrote about this.  I had limited money early in my fledgling career as an Industrial Designer.  Fortunately, I was taken under the wing of two older couples of great wealth and experience.  Both lived in several international metropolitan areas, however, in apartment buildings with little access to land.  As these two couples loved to garden, they spent many happy times in my garden and, afterward, cooking together.  This was several decades ago, and we are still close friends to this day.  Happily, they taught me the art of more sophisticated entertaining throughout the years, on my Queen Victoria wedding china!

There are many things you can do to reciprocate, even when you are young and on limited budgets. The key is not to be intimidated by a temporary lack of means.

Your information is incredibly helpful to others.   Never stop!  

Warm wishes,

LGS.

Dear Holly,  

I believe many people think they have to "spend” to make an impression.  It is not about money,  but a bit of freshness, kind thought, creativity, and confidence to show others you care about them. You are a super mentor to many of us, especially the Grand Millenials.  So grateful you purport all things both proper and pragmatic.

Best wishes, 

L.

Hi Holly,

Your column today was excellent. I thought it was just me hosting with friends who were not reciprocating. Thank you for clarifying and helping me understand that I am not alone.

Happiness, B.G.

Dear Holly,

Yes, yes!!!

We have lively nieces, nephews, and friends of our children who reciprocate in many charming, simple ways—for example, a walk and tea on an afternoon!

You are right on, as usual!

Bises,

S.

Pink silk “faux thistles” are interspersed with real flowers in this arrangement to symbolize Scotland for a luncheon in honor of HM King Charles III’s charity, The King’s Foundation, when the CEO and staff visited Palm Beach. Secret: In a pinch, mixing faux flowers with real flowers can be an elegant and easy, less expensive filler for an arrangement. 

Dear Holly,

This month’s edition struck home. My husband and I host several large gatherings a year, Halloween, Christmas, Mid-summer, and more intimate dinner parties. We are increasingly struck by the number of couples who do not reciprocate. It does seem to be an emerging cultural trend, which is unfortunate.

As you mentioned, we have friends who have issues with renovations, dogs, etc. and choose not to entertain in their homes. Many of these friends will meet out for dinner or at a club, an acceptable alternative to entering their homes. However, there is a second category of people who we enjoy spending time with and who obviously enjoy themselves when they are entertained in our home. Yet, no effort is ever made to reciprocate.

I am always bowled over when someone, often a female contemporary, shares feelings of inadequacy or intimidation when faced with the thought of reciprocation. I always reply that simplicity is best, and any invitation is appreciated. Life is too short to feel like you must meet some unrealistic ideal. A burger in the backyard is a welcome invite, as it shows effort.

I have always acknowledged that friendship is hard work. People ebb and flow in and out of our lives over time. If they are unable, or worse unwilling, to put in the effort required to maintain a connection, it can become necessary to edit some connections.

Thank you for your inspired missives, I do enjoy reading them.

K.H.

Dear Ms. Holden,

Thank you very much for writing about reciprocity. I thought it was just me who thought about this with friends, so it is nice to read about the "Art of Hospitality." 

Have a wonderful week! 

Sincerely, 

L.K.

Dear Holly,

Well said! Wonderful to have reminders about mutual respect in society. These ideas deserve attention, and the art of gracious living must be preserved!

Thank you for passing these ideas on to future generations!

S.S.

Dear Holly,

I’m passing your timely article to a few friends. Thank you for reminding us politeness begins at home!

A fan, V.

These are just a few of the letters I received.  It is obvious that many of us still want to keep gracious entertaining and reciprocity alive and well… thank heavens!

Xx

Holly

Reciprocation: A Forgotten Art of Hospitality?

Serving guests in the summer on our veranda at Fox Hall, for dinner parties of six to ten, is an enchanting experience as a hostess… everything tastes better somehow, no matter what I serve! 

(Dress is Ala von Auersperg) 

A darling subscriber brought up an interesting topic: the “unwritten rule” of reciprocating hospitality. Is it a lost art?

Reciprocation, a gracious social norm, involves returning a favor or invitation.  It is an essential aspect of friendship. However, it is often overlooked in today’s society. I am speaking about social events, not business, and in particular, an intimate dinner party, not necessarily a large cocktail party or reception. 

My subscriber shared her personal experience: she and her husband have invited and hosted several couples to their dinner parties, who seemed to enjoy themselves thoroughly. However, over time, to their surprise, these guests have yet to extend an invitation in return. It is not because they didn’t have a delightful time; they gleefully accepted their invitations on more than one occasion! Why?

I remember when a dear friend of mine, who has a very grand house and entertains on a monumentally majestic scale, confessed that “no one ever seems to invite me back.”  Why? 

Are people intimidated, or can they not afford to reciprocate? Reciprocation does not have to be extravagant. Whether it is a simple lunch, tea, or drinks & nibbles, there are various ways to reciprocate based on one’s budget and lifestyle.  

Is it because people do not have time or cannot entertain in their home? I know a young couple with four children under four (two sets of twins!) who admitted their house is not a venue for entertaining (at this point in their lives). Instead, they invite guests to a restaurant or their Club. There are endless accessible alternatives.

So, why do people not reciprocate?  It is a taught behavior, like good manners. The genteel behavior of “paying back” is a learned concept. So, perhaps some “just never learned and don’t know,” OR some “just don’t care!”… oh dear! 

Grandmillennial tip:

If you meet someone for the first time at someone else’s place, and want to invite them over, invite the host of the party  where you met them as well; it is a thoughtful gesture. 

 Not reciprocating can be perceived as impolite and ungenerous. Teach your children that when you accept an invitation, it is your duty to reciprocate in some way or form, in the spirit of generosity and mutual respect for others. We are so grateful to have charming friends who kindly reciprocate! 

Let’s keep gentility alive and well… and not a lost art! 

Xx

Holly

PS Please pass this along to your grown children too, as a reminder to reciprocate!

Lovely Lobster Bisque: Elegant and Easy!

Cooking seafood in our apartment is a bit of a challenge compared to cooking seafood in our house, as the fishy aroma can linger for days. Even though the sliding doors are opened, and scented candles are lit, it does not seem to dissipate! So, when making a lobster bisque, I take an easy, “scent-free” shortcut! I buy it ready-made and add my special touches to make it “semi-homemade.”  

There are several places to buy yummy, premade lobster bisque that is refrigerated (and not in a can), such as Publix, Panera, and Costco. I simply add some Madeira wine to taste, along with a shake or two of red pepper flakes, to the store-bought bisque, slowly bring it to a simmer, and add "the secret" dollop of crab or lobster.   

Here are all of the ingredients! The pretty flowers were given to me by Joan Parker who arranged them at a Salvation Army fundraising event she hosted. 

My “Secret” Ingredients

Mix and simmer until warm:

• Premade and refrigerated Lobster Bisque

• Madeira Wine (to taste)

• Pepper flakes (to taste)

• Add in: Lump crabmeat OR picked-out lobster meat (approx ¼ cup per bowl)

• Garnish with chopped fresh dill, scallions, or chives

After the bisque has slowly come to a simmer on the cooktop (be careful not to let it boil),  spoon it into each soup bowl, and add a very generous spoonful of lump crab meat or picked-out lobster meat, which is at room temperature or gently warmed before adding it. 

Then, garnish with a sprinkling of chopped fresh dill, scallions, or chives on top.

The final touch?  I pass a petite silver pitcher (above) of additional Madeira wine. Each guest then has the option to pour a little on top of their bisque if they wish. (No one ever seems to refuse this embellishment!) 

Once the bisque is placed in front of each guest, a basket of warm biscuits is served to accompany it.  This easy, elegant, and deliciously decadent first-course combination of Lobster Bisque and biscuits is always a winner! 

Xx 

Holly

PS: Please share this recipe and inspire others to subscribe!  Also, take a peek at the addendum below. 

The Secret to Perfect Invitations: Where to place the R.s.v.p.

Two appropriate forms of requesting an acknowledgment are displayed on these invitations, both of which bring fond memories of joyous celebrations to mind! 

When composing an invitation, which side do you place the acknowledgment request, aka the R.s.v.p. (R.s.v.p. is French for “Respondez s’il vous plait”)? On the lower-right corner or the lower-left corner?

It should be on the lower-left corner of the invitation!

Respondez s’il vous plait may be written as R.s.v.p., with a capital “R” and lowercase “s.v.p.” The other form of R.S.V.P. is in all capital letters. The preferred form is R.s.v.p. 

“The favour of replay is requested” is another form of an acknowledgment request. It relays a touch of old-world charm and formality to the occasion. I chose this for my wedding reception invitation because the British spelling of “favour” reminded me of my dear father, who was British.

I sent this invitation to dear friends, “The Rambunctious Rams,” who celebrate Aries’ birthdays with my husband. It is always an amusing evening of celebration!

It is appropriate to use the simple phrase “Regrets only” along with a phone number, email address, or both. This form is considered less formal than using R.s.v.p.

When including a phone number, email address, or both, it is preferable to indicate them underneath the R.s.v.p.  

GrandMilennial Tip:

The “dress attire” is placed in the lower-right corner of an invitation and is always included on a formal invitation. (An easy way to remember this is: “How to dress RIGHT!”)

For informal invitations, you may add a response date under the R.s.v.p.   The number of the date may be spelled out or in numeral form: April 10th or April tenth. (If spelled out, the number is not capitalized,  but the month is capitalized) 

Example:
R.s.v.p.           
By April second 

Forbidden Faux Pas:

No-no: To not respond soon after receiving an invitation: Do your best to respond to an invitation within 2 to 3 days of receiving it. 

No-no: When a formal invitation, such as a wedding invitation, is sent and does not have a response card enclosed, you are expected to respond on your writing paper in the third person (Mrs. R. Stuart Holden, Jr. accepts with pleasure the kind invitation of…).  

No-no: If a response card is not included with the formal invitation, you should not phone or email your response, even if you know them well. Your response should always be handwritten and mailed to the host. 

Note the selective wording in the lower-left corner, which suggests a stately fundraising luncheon, with limited acceptances. This invitation included an acknowledgment request card. 

Please be a dear and invite one or two friends today to subscribe to “Secrets to Lovely Living!”  Your kind gesture would help me grow my subscriber list internationally and mean the world.  A big kiss to all for your support!  

Xx

Holly

Enhancing art with porcelain!

The blue tonality of the pair of Chinese ginger jars corresponds to a similar color in the painting by American artist Margot Stewart, while the two tall pairs of vases harmonize with the colors in the room.  

If paired well, porcelain and art can create a symphony of perceptible bliss for any room. Porcelain plates, vases, cachepots, and figurines add a lovely dimension to walls, shelves, and tabletops, enhancing the room's character and artwork. 

When porcelain pieces are chosen to complement a piece of art with specific colors in mind, the porcelain becomes part of the overall composition, and the artwork visually extends rays of intrigue toward a nearby piece of porcelain.  Thus, the entire composition expands and enhances viewers’ pleasure. A win-win!  This is a sound reason to buy what you love while keeping a room's color scheme in mind. 

This composition illustrates ‘art and porcelain’ complementing one another!

My favorite artwork at Hill-Stead Museum in Farmington, Connecticut, is Jockeys (1886) by Edgar Degas, which hangs over the dining room mantel. The mantelpiece is graced with the Pope Family collection of celadon porcelain pieces made during the Song (960-1279) and Ming (1368-1644) Dynasties. The mantelpiece was believed to be designed specifically to feature both the artwork and the celadon pieces… just what I am talking about! The harmony between the various pastel shades of green in the artwork and the soft green celadon porcelain is ‘art complementing art.’  

Porcelain has a most captivating history.  An entire chapter in my book, The Pretty and Proper Living Room, is dedicated to this topic. In summary, consider collecting porcelain with both the colors of your artwork and the colors of a room in mind so that the porcelain will meld brilliantly and enhance the overall visual aesthetic of your space.  

Surrounding art with porcelain plates is another way to add interest to the subject matter. The blue and white Meissen, Canton, and Willow Ware plate patterns complement the sweater on our son, Stuart III (with Higgins!), and our kitchen at Fox Hall.

Xx

Holly

PS: Please be a dear and invite one friend to subscribe here! 

What secret elements contribute to an inviting interior? Lessons from the Mulroney's Palm Beach Home.

Upon entering a house for the first time, what elements do you immediately sense that contribute to a positively enchanting atmosphere? You know, a house that feels inviting, and one you don't want to leave?! 

My list of a few “inviting” elements:

-Joyful colors that complement one another from room to room

-Intimate seating arrangements

-Art that speaks to the heart and is collected with passion, and hung appropriately

-Decorative details that tell a story

I am reminded of the time my team and I photographed Brian and Mila Mulroney’s Palm Beach house for my book, Pearls of Palm Beach.

I immediately felt an overwhelming sense of warmth, happiness, and gracious hospitality the moment I walked through the front door. The happy, sunny yellow and Mediterranean blue color scheme delighted my visual senses. The living room seating arrangements were close together, conducive for intimate conversations. The artwork and decorative details reflected the Mulroney family interests, experiences, and travels. These elements contribute to an authentically inviting atmosphere.  

Mila entered soon after the cameras were set up. We met for the first time. She greeted me with her warm personality and beautiful smile; she made me feel like a long-lost friend. We had a quick photograph together before she dashed off with her grandchildren. She graciously invited me to “make myself at home.” No wonder she is so beloved! 

The secret to creating inviting interiors… the ones you never want to leave, is to create intimate rooms that reflect the persona and passions of the owners within them. The Mulroney's accomplished this brilliantly.  It’s a family home, where guests feel like family.  And, it's no wonder the house is appropriately named “La Maison Jolie!”

I was saddened to learn that Brian Mulroney, the former Prime Minister of Canada from 1984 to 1993, recently passed away. I was inspired to share a few photographs of the resort home he shared with Mila. We can all learn from these rooms. 

My heartfelt sympathy goes out to the Mulroney family. Thank you for sharing your charming family home with me. 

Xx

Holly

PS: Please be a dear and invite one friend to subscribe here! 

Holly's Secret Easy First Course Asparagus Roll-ups

One of my secret recipes for a first course is my asparagus roll-ups! Not only are they quick and easy to prepare, but they look pretty on any porcelain design, can be made several hours ahead, and may be served at room temperature.

Prepare one bundle per person.

Ingredients:

~Asparagus: steamed until soft but still slightly crunchy.  I allow between three and four stalks per person.

~Boursin Cheese: you can use any variety, including truffle-flavored.  

(Alternative: use cream cheese and simply mix in some fresh garlic and herbs)

~Prosciutto Slices: allow one thin, presliced piece per person/bundle.

Cut ends off: make the top of the stalk to the bottom about 4-5” long.

Steam or simmer the asparagus (or place it in a microwave) until still green, soft, but slightly firm.  

Spread about a teaspoon or more of Boursin cheese in the center of the prosciutto slice.

Place 3-4 stalks of asparagus in the center, lengthwise, on one end of the prosciutto and roll up. Place the seam on the bottom. 

Optional Garnish:

Slice tiny tomatoes lengthwise, toss in olive oil, and add a dash of salt. Sprinkle over the plate and the asparagus for additional color.  Add a touch of chopped parsley, too, if you have some!

This was a ladies' luncheon I hosted for Baroness Marion von Linsingen when she flew over from Germany to Palm Beach.

That’s it! It is so simple and can be served any time of year. I hope you enjoy making them, too!

 Xx 

Holly

PS: Please be a dear and invite one friend to subscribe here! 

Mirror, Mirror on the Wall: Holly's Secret Design Idea!

In the living room at Fox Hall, the mid-eighteenth-century English bull’s eye mirror is hung over the mantelpiece.  The “hippocam” that crowns the mirror is a subtle reference to my passion for horses. 

The artwork you choose to present on your walls provides a window into your interests and tastes, and Mummy instilled in me never to buy reproduction art. The cost of a mirror is quite often only a fraction of the cost of a painting.  It’s always better to purchase a lovely mirror than inferior artwork. 

In my first book, The Pretty and Proper Living Room, the chapter, “Magnificent Mirrors and Wall Art,” discussed how mirrors can enhance the design of a room. They are similar to a living painting because they reflect life in a room, and occasionally an outside view too. 

Mirrors (referred to as “looking glasses” in England), have been used historically to increase the daylight or candlelight in a room before there was electricity.  Candlelight placed in front of a mirror doubles the “romantic” lighting.  

When selecting a mirror, ensure that the frame complements the furniture and architecture of the room.  Formal surroundings deserve formal mirrors.  Hepplewhite, Chippendale, and Adam-esque mirrors continue to reign supreme in classically tailored interiors.  

I adore antique Venetian mirrors, especially for a resort house, as I have done in Palm Beach, because they add a touch of glamour and whimsy!  

An antique mirror is preferable to a new mirror because of its well-earned patina on the glass. One can never have too many mirrors!

My Pretty and Proper Living Room book features a page about mirrors. The top mirror shown is in my office. It is the first mirror that Stuart and I ever bought as newlyweds. We thought it was an antique because we purchased it in an “antique” store on Cape Cod. When we went to hang it, we discovered underneath the backside paper that it was a new reproduction- lesson learned, but we still love it! 

Grandmillenial tips:

There can be more than one mirror in a room.  Consider creating a design theme in a room around a collection of mirrors!

When hanging a mirror over a fireplace mantelpiece, decide what you intend to display on the mantel first, and then hang the mirror, so that the decorative pieces on the mantel do not block the details on the bottom of the mirror frame. 

Place a sculpture in front of a mirror, so that one can appreciate the back of the sculpture in the reflection of the mirror. 

When placing a mirror over a sofa, bring the mirror up far enough so that when someone is seated, and their head accidentally tilts backward during a jolly good laugh, their head will only strike the wood frame, not the glass!

Forbidden Faux Pas:

No-no: To resilver or replace the mirror glass on an old mirror. Imperfections are part of the charm of an antique mirror.  Embrace the well-earned patina on the glass. 

No-no: To spray cleaners directly on the front of the mirror, because the liquid can drip into the frame and also begin to disintegrate the silver coating on the back.

Instead, spray a soft cloth with the cleaning solution. Then, gently wipe the front surface of the mirror.  Water and liquids can drip into the frame and begin to disintegrate the silver coating on the back.

No-no: To vacuum the back of a mirror or to dust the frame too vigorously. The suction of the vacuum, or the action of abusive dusting, will challenge the integrity of the back, which protects the silver layer. 

Here’s looking at YOU! 

 Xx 

Holly

PS: Please be a dear and invite one friend to subscribe here! 

The Launer: A discrete fashion accessory fit for a Queen!

Ladies use three distinctive terms to reference just ONE essential fashion accessory, one that they carry each day!  Can you guess what it is?  Of course, depending on where one lives in the world, the three names may be interpreted with a uniquely different meaning.  Soooo, which name do you use: pocketbook, handbag, or purse? 

The term "handbag" is often used in England, while "pocketbook" is favored in the South, and a "purse" can reference a small clutch or handbag, a wallet, or a coin holder. 

Whatever name you use, I know you can recognize a beautifully elegant one when you see it!  With that in mind, I am thrilled to introduce you to Launer London, renowned for its understated luxury leather goods and especially for its stunning handbags.  Because they are made in the U.K., "handbag" is the term I shall use.  I have admired Launer handbags... forever.  Every aspect represents quiet, understated elegance.  Launer earned a Royal Warrant in 1968 and continues to be "discreetly famous" (now that's an oxymoron!). 

The Launer "Traviata" handbag was one of THE favored accessories HM Queen Elizabeth II carried on her arm for decades. It is named after the opera La Traviata, written in 1853.  Various sources have mentioned that Her Majesty owned over 200 of them.

HM The Queen was carrying her traditional choice for a handbag, the Launer Traviata, which features a bespoke longer top handle that fit comfortably over her arm.

Launer continues to be a well-loved accessory with royalty around the world, the choice for dignitaries and lovely ladies worldwide. Scully & Scully, on Park Avenue in NYC, has been selling Launer handbags for the past eight years. They are the only brick-and-mortar store to carry them in America and align closely with their brand.  Since 1934, Scully & Scully has been a luxury store that serves an internationally distinguished clientele.  Their must-have mail-order catalog is most tempting, filled with treasures that Mr. Michael Scully personally sources worldwide, and is a trusted resource I refer to for my clients, too.

Recently, I discovered that Launer debuted a new bubblegum pink color, and my heart went pitter-patter!  I shared the news with my husband, Stuart.  It was not long before a gift box arrived at our door in Palm Beach as a surprise... he is a keeper!

I adore the petite size of the Launer "Judi" handbag and the coordinating pocket mirror. It was named for Dame Judi Dench by Gerald Bodmer, the wife of the CEO of Launer. It is smaller than the Traviata, which Queen Elizabeth II carried. 

Launer handbags are lined in soft suede with an optional shoulder strap and a darling little pocket mirror.  Unlike the large logos emblazoned on many other brands, the signature gold-plated rope clasp is charmingly discrete.

I posed a few questions to Scully & Scully about Launer handbags to share with you:

What tends to be the most popular color or style? 

The Traviata is best-selling, specifically in black or white. 

Can one order custom details/features on a bespoke Launer handbag? 

One can order any color combination but what we carry are top sellers around the world.  They can be ordered with different animal skins (snake, lizard, etc.), and custom lining and handle size.

I think the two-tone color combinations are quite attractive. 
Photo: Scully & Scully, NYC

Now you know all about Launer handbags!  If you own one, or decide to order one, share a photo with me as I would love to see the color and style you choose. 

Xx

Holly

PS: Please be a dear and invite one friend to subscribe here! 

Flower Power: Unlocking the Mysterious Language of Flowers!

Pink peonies from “Stuart’s garden” at Fox Hall, intertwined with mountain laurel, was a centerpiece that I arranged for a dinner party.  Did you know that the mountain laurel, the state flower of Connecticut, symbolizes achievement and perseverance, and pink peonies relay the beauty of marriage and love at first sight?  Together, these two flower varieties offer a loving tribute, in the secret language of flowers, to my darling husband of 48 years!

Do you know the secret language of flowers?

Every day is perfect for giving, receiving, or admiring pretty flowers!  But are you aware of the secret language of flowers?  Besides merely admiring them, the color and the variety of various flowers can have a symbolic meaning behind them... a secret language. 

During the Victorian ages, the language of flowers was an ingenious way of expressing intimate, romantic feelings to another, back when it was taboo to do so blatantly.  The color and type of flower chosen was a silent dialogue.  I was unaware of this lovely language until I discovered a precious little book about the secret language of flowers at my mother-in-law's charming Cape Cod house.  

I was intrigued and enthralled because I adore flower arranging and I asked myself, "What secret message am I relaying with the flowers I give to others?"  Not that the recipient would ever know, but it is amusing to consider. 

Christian Dior was passionate about Lily of the Valley and chose it for his classic perfume, Diorissio. The symbol of Lily of the Valley means purity, a return to happiness, and humility.  Coco Chanel adored the white Camellia (or Chinese Rose), symbolizing everlasting love and devotion.  Oscar Wilde wore a green carnation on his lapel, which was his secret hint that he was a man who loved other men. 

This classic arrangement of white roses at The Ritz Hotel in London represents, in flower language, a sign of purity and a symbol of respect, which is why they are often featured in bridal bouquets.

What do specific flowers relay?

Anemones: anticipation and good luck
Red Carnations: pride and beauty
Daisies: new beginnings 
Gardenias: purity and secret love 
Hyacinths: playfulness and constancy 
Lilacs: (magenta) love and passion; (purple) first love
Lilies: purity and refined love
Peonies: a happy marriage and good fortune
Tulips: perfect love

What do the colors of flowers relay?

Red: A bouquet of red roses indicates romance, because the color red signifies love and passion.  Roses are red, violets are blue, kiss me, and I'll love you!
White: purity and grace
Pink: gratitude, admiration/femininity, gentility, and elegance 
Peach: gratitude
Yellow: joy and gratitude
Purple: enchantment, love at first sight, and success
Orange: enthusiasm and energy

Grandmillennial Tips:

Consider sending cut flowers without a vase to a hostess the day before a dinner party.  She can then arrange them in a container of her choice before the party commences.

When giving flowers to someone you don't know or have never visited, specify the flowers as white or send a white orchid plant.  White can be placed in any room in a house!  

Incorporate the secret language of flowers in your centerpiece as an acknowledgment to the guest of honor.  If you give a toast, share why the flowers were chosen and integrate their meaning into the toast you compose. 

In honor of Lady Carnarvon’s visit from Highclere Castle (aka Downton Abbey) for a luncheon I hosted, I gave each guest a little container of flowers as a memento gift.  Carnations originated in England, hence the pink carnations.  The horse sculpture served as a nod to our mutual passion for horses, which we shared in the PBS “You Are Cordially Invited” episode here.  

So, what flowers and colors will you give for Valentine’s Day? I am sending my love to you with a bountiful bouquet of PINK PEONIES! 

Xx

Holly

PS: Please be a dear and invite one friend to subscribe here! Take a peek at the Addendum below, which has excellent tips for slipcovers.