Holly’s “Secret” Lemon Chess Pie Recipe

For those occasions when impromptu guests arrive or you spontaneously invite friends over for lunch or dinner and need a quick dessert, I have the perfect recipe.  It is one that both men and women savor, and you will most likely have all the ingredients on hand.  So, what is my tried-and-true “SECRET” pie recipe? A Lemon Chess Pie!  It is one that you can whip up easily, especially if you have a pre-made pie crust, along with two lemons. You will likely already have the other ingredients in your kitchen: butter, eggs, and sugar.

The Lemon Chess Pie has a long heritage in England. It is similar to the English curd pie, dating back to the 1600s. It was adopted here, in New England and Virginia.  A version of the recipe was even in Martha Washington’s cookbook.  As a young bride in Richmond, I was given the recipe by a bridesmaid, who copied it from her old Virginia family’s recipe repertoire. I have made it ever since and added my “secret” touch: the grated lemon rind!  

Why is it called “chess?” One reference is that, before refrigerators, it was stored in a pie “chest”… which sounds like “chess.” Another theory is that long ago when a lady was asked what kind of pie she made, the response was: “it’s jes’ pie,” with a southern accent, and “jes” sounds like chess.  Whatever the derivation, it is “jes’ yummy!”   

Holly’s “Secret” Lemon Chess Pie Recipe

Pre-heat the oven to 350 degrees

• 1 pie shell, unbaked  NOTE: I use Pillsbury pie crusts. Two come rolled up in a red box and are found in the refrigerated (not frozen) section of the grocery store.

• 3 eggs

• 1 stick butter (I use salted butter)

• 1 ½ cups sugar ( use superfine sugar  if you have it!) 

• 2 lemons (the juice and, my secret: the finely grated rind from both lemons)

Cream together the butter and sugar.

Add the eggs, one at a time, and mix well.

Add in the lemon juice and grated rind to the above.

Pour into the unbaked pie shell.

Bake at 350 degrees for approximately 35 minutes. 

It will be lightly browned. You want it firm enough that it barely wiggles in the center when shaken. Serve warm or cold! 

A few more secrets:

~I like to press fork tines along the edge of the store-bought pie crust, creating that “homemade” look.

~This pie may be made a few days ahead and stored in the refrigerator. 

~If you have time and the ingredients, add a dollop of whipped cream, mint leaves, and a few raspberries for color. 

~It is rich with flavor (because of the butter and the lemon rind), so you can make the slices even smaller if necessary to serve more people. 

I hope y’all enjoy serving this pie as much as I have through the years!  Shhh, now remember,  it’s a secret recipe!

Xx

Holly

Scalamandre and Stubbs!

The Palm Beach flagship Stubbs and Wootton Store is a “candy store” filled with colorful and cleverly designed slipper shoes.  

As an interior designer, I have been an enthusiastic advocate of The House of Scalamandre and have specified their fabrics and trims since I started my business in 1989.  Their documentary and reproduction fabrics have historical significance, along with their superb silks and trims. The products they offer are extraordinarily divine and can become addictive for anyone that appreciates fine design. 

At The House of Scalamandre Showroom, D&D, NYC, I am holding the classic Tigre velvet in pink! 

It was an honor and a thrill to be invited as a guest speaker at the D&D, NYC, for Design Week.  Following that event, I gave another talk in the stunning Scalamandre showroom, where they graciously hosted a “Pink” themed book signing party. The cherry on top for that day? They presented me with the perfect pink gift: a classic pair of Stubbs and Wootton linen slippers with an embroidered design featuring The House of Scalamandre’s iconic “Zebra” pattern. The whimsical Zebra pattern was originally designed as wallpaper for Gino’s restaurant in the 1940’s, with a delightful history. The pretty shoes were a wee bit too small, so another pair was quickly ordered for me.
 

Do you know about Stubbs and Wootton? 

These darling pink “Stubbies” feature the notable Clock Tower, which is located at the end of Worth Avenue on the ocean in Palm Beach. 

In Palm Beach, near the Everglades Club on Worth Avenue, is the quintessential shoe store, Stubbs and Wootton.  Lovingly referred to as “Stubbies,”  these slippers have been collected and worn worldwide by a stunning lineage of devotees ever since the brand was launched in Palm Beach in 1993. Gentlemen wear their linen, needlepoint, and corduroy styles, sockless, to social functions, while the velvet designs are de rigueur for Black tie events. And ladies wear them casually.  It is always a delight to be greeted by Nicolo in their flagship store. I was overjoyed to receive the Scalamandre gift pair and made a little Instagram video!

The collaboration between Scalamandre and Stubbs and Wootton is a perfect convergence, a “marriage made in heaven!” Scalamandre's various fabric designs translate well into the embroidery designs that embellish several of Stubbs's shoes. 

Thank you, Scalamandre, for my pretty pink zebra shoes… they are happily at home here in Palm Beach! 

Xx 

Holly

P.S. Please be a dear and invite a friend to subscribe HERE!  

Giving a gift... that keeps on giving!

The Duchess’s sitting room, in the Private Apartments at Blenheim Palace in Woodstock, England, is a glorious butter-yellow color. While filming my television program there, I admired the magnificent bridal photograph and frame of Lady Henrietta Spencer-Churchill on the table behind me, along with her other relatives in lovely keepsake frames.

The best gift that “keeps on giving” is the act of LOVE. But, for tangible gifts, the ones that continue to serve the recipient with a meaningful memory or to mark an accomplishment, there are a few options, and I am delighted to share some of my favorites!

A silver or polished pewter picture frame engraved with a meaningful date, personalized initials, or monogram, is a gift that can be used anywhere, for any photograph, forever.

The same is applicable for a silver tray or bowl. The tray can be used to serve hors d’oeuvres, hold a perspiring champagne bucket, place wine glasses upon, or even place under a floral arrangement for added reflection. A bowl is perfect for holding nuts, dips, jewelry and earrings, and endless things. My daughter was given a silver tray with the wording of her wedding invitation engraved on it. Thank you, Uncle Herb! This would be a cherished gift for any bride.

An attractive letter opener may enhance the experience of opening mundane bills, while also being a handsome accessory for a desk. They last forever, and one can always use more than one for such places as the kitchen, office, and bedroom desks.

Oh, and silver baby cups, given to our three children as Christening presents and at their birth, can also be used as a darling vessel for petite flower arrangements in a powder room, on a bedside, or on a drinks table in the living room.
 

Living gifts, such as a plant (rose bush, boxwood, topiary) or tree (cherry blossom, dogwood) can also serve as a “growing tribute” for years to come, and can also mark the life of someone dear. 

And finally, my other idea for a “gift that keeps on giving,” (especially for those graduating, just entering the business world, or for grandchildren) is an online etiquette course. I would like to personally recommend two very dear and talented friends who offer online etiquette courses for a private lesson in your own home. They are exemplars in their field. We share the same view of gracious living and embrace the importance of manners. 

William Hansen, based in London, is the Executive Director and creator of The English Manner. He offers a stupendous array of online courses, from “Afternoon Tea” to “Hosting Clients in a Restaurant,” to "Business Protocol."  William’s British background is stellar. He is a Fellow of the Royal Society of the Arts, and his clever humor will keep you in stitches as you learn the correct protocol for so many important aspects of etiquette. I adore his book series too: The Bluffers Guides!

According to William Hansen, of The English Manner: “Another big mistake people make with afternoon tea is to cut the scones in two with a knife. Not only is this historically incorrect (all to do with cutlery etiquette from the Middle Ages), but by surgically cutting them in two, you remove the fluffiness from the sweet morsel. Break them in two with your hands. Freshly baked British scones (often different from the American equivalent) will have a natural seam in the middle, and it is from here you break them in half.”

Myka Meier, the Director, and Creator of Beaumont Etiquette, offers an online finishing course.  Topics such as “The Duchess Effect,” “The Teen Program,” and “Wine Basics” are very informative, and Myka is very engaging. Her book, Business Etiquette Made Easy, is also incorporated into her online courses. 

It was such a delight to have Myka Meier visit me in Palm Beach! 

All of the above gifts not only serve as a joyful reminder of a memorable occasion but also the thoughtful gift-giver too.

Xx 

Holly

P.S. Please be a dear and forward this newsletter to a friend to inspire them to subscribe! 

Napkin Etiquette for Private Dinner Parties

Pressed and starched napkins are a must.  I often use this fold because it is elegant, yet simple to execute! 

Napkins can be a secret signal in more ways than one! How you fold, place and use them has a language all its own, especially at a private dinner party.

The Duchess Fold, as displayed above at Woburn Abbey, is often used in grand homes, palaces, and castles throughout England, and is quite regal. It does require practice and a bit of finesse to fold it correctly… and it definitely requires a large, starched, dinner-size napkin!

While seated, wait for the hostess to remove her napkin first. Follow her lead and then, place yours on your lap, unfolding it below the table (no shaking it with a flourish!). The fold faces you. (If you are at a table of friends, without the presence of a hostess, or in a restaurant, then place the napkin on your lap right away.)

When there is a napkin ring, remove it by pulling it toward you. Then, place it to the left of your place setting. (Traditionally, a napkin ring is used for family, houseguests, or for informal dinners.)

If you must excuse yourself, place your napkin on your chair (if it is an upholstered seat, be sure to have the soiled side facing up).  By doing so, you are discreetly not calling more attention that you have left the table. The other option, which I do not condone, is leaving it on the table to the left of the dinner plate. Who wants to look at your napkin?! 

At a private dinner party, wait for the hostess/host to determine when dinner is over. What does one appropriately do with their napkin, then? I will let you in on a little secret! Here is the old-school signal to your hostess that you know the proper way to leave your napkin after dinner: Fold your napkin similarly to how and where it was placed when you arrived at the table (unless it is a rather challenging fold, i.e., The Duchess Fold). The easy and proper method is to simply fold your napkin into a rectangle, and place it to the left, where the forks were originally placed.  Most guests just plop their napkins to the left or in the middle of their place, without folding them. Truth be known, a seasoned hostess will know which guests know this old-school signal, and smile as they acknowledge their adeptness and polish when they view the empty table after the guests have departed!

At the Salvation Army’s Paradise Ball, their 100th centennial, I had a few napkin fold options presented to me to choose from as the Chair.  I was tickled pink with this unique fold which was created with white, starched, dinner napkins. I was very grateful to the dedicated team of employees that sat together for hours folding 450 napkins the same afternoon as the Ball. This exclusive fold complemented the formality of a White-tie ball. Photo credit: Capehart Photography, Palm Beach

If you are at a restaurant, not a private house, it is appropriate to leave your napkin in a casual-loose semi-fold. Leaving a balled-up napkin pile on the table is not appropriate.  And, remember, for both private parties and restaurant dining, slide your chair back under the table when leaving. 

Forbidden Faux Pas

No-No: To place a fork ON TOP of a napkin. The only exception to this rule is if you are dining outside, with the possibility that wind would require you to weigh down the napkin, and a fork would help to keep it from blowing away.

No-No: Wiping your entire mouth with a napkin.

What is done: Lightly dab the corners of your mouth, using the inside of the napkin, so that any marks are not visible on the outside. Ladies, try your best not to get lipstick on the linen napkin as a courtesy to the hostess.

No-no: To place a napkin standing up inside a wine glass! 

If you are at a restaurant, not a private house, it is appropriate to leave your napkin in a casual-loose semi-fold. Leaving a balled-up napkin pile on the table is not appropriate. And, remember, for both private parties and restaurant dining, slide your chair back under the table when leaving. 

Forbidden Faux Pas

No-No: To place a fork ON TOP of a napkin. The only exception to this rule is if you are dining outside, with the possibility that wind would require you to weigh down the napkin, and a fork would help to keep it from blowing away.

No-No: Wiping your entire mouth with a napkin.

What is done: Lightly dab the corners of your mouth, using the inside of the napkin, so that any marks are not visible on the outside. Ladies, try your best not to get lipstick on the linen napkin as a courtesy to the hostess.

No-no: To place a napkin standing up inside a wine glass!

This simple but elegant napkin fold is often used at Buckingham Palace.  To me, white napkins on a white tablecloth represent the epitome of timeless refinement.

A Millennial Tip

Napkins come in various sizes. To narrow it down, a luncheon size is smaller than a larger dinner size. 

Older linens can be of exceptional size and quality. Splendid varieties of older linens are available at private sales and auctions. 

Napkins with elegant monogramming or family crests embroidered on them are my favorite.  White embroidery on a white napkin is the most formal.  Creating a monogram or embroidery design to complement the dining room color or design on the porcelain, or theme for a party, is always such fun! 

Xx 

Holly

P.S. Please be a dear and forward this letter on to someone you think may enjoy it too! 

To Clink or Not to Clink!

At “Le Clarence” in Paris, one of our favorite restaurants, I had just enough wine left in my glass to toast my darling Stuart for a splendid Thanksgiving dinner.

CHEERS and GOOD HEALTH and a HAPPY NEW YEAR to you!   

Perhaps you “clinked” your glass of champagne with others at a New Year’s Eve party to welcome in 2023, yes? What a joyous, celebratory sound when two crystal glasses “clink” together for a glorious occasion!

The tradition of touching or clinking glasses began eons ago. Why? There was a time when people were afraid that there may be poison in their glass. So, by clinking the other person’s glass, there was a chance that a portion of your liquid would spill into the other person’s glass. Clinking glasses was also a custom thought to ward away any evil spirits. Well, I am elated that our present-day glass “clinking” represents happiness and good wishes! 

A question recently posed to me was: Does one “clink” at a seated dinner party? My recommendation is to always take the lead from the host/hostess of the table.

We all relished the eloquent toast made by our dear host at a festive holiday dinner party he and his wife treated us to a few days before Christmas. Some raised their glasses, while others clinked… such fun! 

In some social circles, clinking is not practiced or condoned. At the beginning of the 20th century, clinking glasses began to be interpreted as a working-class tradition, and thus, was abandoned by those with more refined manners. When a toast is made in regal company, glasses are raised for a toast, but are never clinked. Seldom have I witnessed clinking at formal dinners in Europe, yet it happens here quite often in America. So my advice is to observe what your host does with their glass when they offer the first toast. 

Do we clink glasses at Fox Hall? Yes, we do.  For me, it is a sign of touching the ones I love in the spirit of celebration.

Forbidden Faux Pas:

No-no: To drink to yourself when a toast is made to you. 

What is done: If a toast is made in your honor, do not take a drink until everyone else has, otherwise it would appear that you are applauding yourself. 

No-no: To not clink if someone extends their glass to you, making an effort to clink your glass. 

What is done: Clink their glass to avoid making the other person feel awkward. Manners are about being polite to others. 

No-no: To not raise your glass when a toast is being made.

What is done: Always raise your glass for a toast, whether it is full or empty.  I try to keep a little portion of libation in my glass at all times if I am at a large function and anticipate that a toast may be made. Wedding receptions are a prime example!

Grandmillennial Tips:

Ladies, try to keep your lipstick mark on your glass in one place to avoid a ring of lipstick marks around the rim of the glass. 

Hold a stemmed glass by the stem to keep the wine or champagne from being warmed by your hand.

Coasters, which are used to protect a wood surface from the condensation of a chilled, non-stemmed glass, are not needed for a stemmed glass.  Stemmed glasses may be placed directly on the table, whether it be a dining room table or any other table in your house. 

Happy New Year! Learn how to properly open a bottle of champagne here, from a previous newsletter. Cheers! Note: coasters or cocktail napkins are NOT needed (as pictured here) under stemmed glasses!

Thank you for your thoughtful questions and for inspiring others to subscribe to my newsletter. Do let me know of potential sponsors, those who can relate to my fabulously gracious, and very international audience. It is always a delight to welcome new sponsors and to witness the results they receive from my subscribers.

May 2023 bring joy, good health, and peace to you and your loved ones! And, do tell… what is your “clinking” tradition?

Xx 

Holly

P.S. Please be a dear and forward this letter on to someone you think may enjoy it too! 

Easy Holiday Recipe: Little Cheese Blintzes

Christmas is coming! Karen, Miss Charlotte, and I  made these little cinnamon cheese blintzes a week before our grandson, R. Stuart Holden, IV, was born... and we just celebrated his fourth birthday!  We will make some this week, freeze them, and bake them on Christmas morning.  They are a yummy nibble to enjoy as we open presents (and we are indeed up early with little grandchildren!) before Christmas breakfast is served.  Note: These complement a glass of Christmas champagne too!

You will need the following:
1 loaf of white bread (about 20 slices) with the crust removed
12 oz. softened cream cheese
1 1/2 tsp. vanilla
1 egg yolk
Optional: 1/4 tsp. almond extract
1 1/3 sticks of softened butter
3/4 cup sugar mixed with 1/4 cup cinnamon

To-Do:
Preheat the oven to 350 degrees.
Flatten the bread until thin with a rolling pin.
Cream together the cream cheese, vanilla, and egg yolk (and almond extract if you choose).
Spread the cheese mixture onto the bread.
Roll the bread tightly and cut it into quarters.
Melt the butter.
Roll the bread pieces into the butter, followed by the sugar mixture.
Heat, covered, for 15 minutes, and uncovered for five more minutes.
Serve warm!
 

Happy Holidays and Merry Christmas!  I  wish you days filled with joy and happiness. 

Xx 

Holly

My Paradise Ball Recap!

As guests entered the Grand Ballroom, they were greeted with a spectacular candy table! It was kindly donated by one of my fellow Salvation Army Ambassadors, sweet Suzanne Mott Dansby, and created by her designer in Atlanta, Mr. Don Chestnut.  Photo source: CAPEHART PHOTOGRAPHY, Palm Beach.

The Paradise Ball was a grand and glorious tribute to the Salvation Army of Palm Beach County’s 100th anniversary, since 1922! The Salvation Army, located in 131 countries and in every zip code in America, marches to the drum of love, and their politics are that of kindness… both much needed in our world today. 

Having surprise elements at any party contributes to a festive and memorable experience for guests.  Our group of darling synchronized swimmers posed with their white parasols, in their retro pink suits and flowered caps, alongside the pool.  Halfway through the cocktail hour, they slipped into the pool for a stunning performance to classic Sinatra songs. The swimmers were the brilliant idea of Susan Cushing, an exceptional Slim Aaron’s style artist, and party planner extraordinaire.  We loved creating this event together, and now have a lifelong friendship from our efforts! 
Photo source: CAPEHART PHOTOGRAPHY, Palm Beach.

The stupendously elegant invitations from Dempsey & Carroll, NYC, were engraved and alluded to a stately evening ahead: the essence of old-world elegance.  “Mrs. Post’s Paradise Ball” was the title of the event. She purchased the property for her Palm Beach home in 1922, the same year the SA was founded in Palm Beach. Marjorie Merriweather Post was smiling from above as the guests at the Paradise Ball reveled in “old Palm Beach” graciousness.” Gentlemen in tails and ladies in glittering ballgowns contributed to the elegant, jubilant, and PINK atmosphere.  

Not many people know this tidbit, but Mrs. Post adored acknowledging her midwest background at her renowned lavish parties with… Square Dancing!  We invited the Jr. Committee to practice their do-si-do’s, courtesy of the Colony Hotel’s ballroom, with a professional “caller” prior to the Ball. So, at 9 pm, the caller invited them to the floor, and after two dances, they were happily joined by the other guests! This is a definite must-do again! SO MUCH FUN! 
Photo source: CAPEHART PHOTOGRAPHY, Palm Beach.

Photo source: CAPEHART PHOTOGRAPHY, Palm Beach.

Our goal was to dust off the image of the Salvation Army and also rejuvenate it with new energy.  Farley Rentschler was my Chair of the Jr. Committee and invited the creme de la creme of Palm Beach to be on her committee… and energized they were!  (Farley is in center with the colorful Marchesa gown, and my daughter-in-law Karen is behind her in red, along with my son, Stuart, on her right.)  Patrick Le Tourneau, a Jr. Committee member, kindly brought his vintage Rolls Royce and parked it at the end of the pool for added "Mrs. Post ambiance!" It’s just hard to see it there with so many on the committee! I am so proud of them all. 

How elated I was that my Honorary Chair, the Duchess of Rutland, Her Grace, Emma Manners, came over from Belvoir Castle, UK,  to attend and support me. Lady Henrietta Spencer-Churchill, my other Honorary Chair, could not make the event, but was there in spirit.  Photo source: CAPEHART PHOTOGRAPHY, Palm Beach.

I was so thrilled to be the Chair of this celebratory event; it was pure joy to work alongside an army of dedicated and inspired people. This was their first major Ball, so I am elated that over 450 people attended! Because of generous sponsors, donors, and guests, the costs for the entire event were underwritten.

Photo source: CAPEHART PHOTOGRAPHY, Palm Beach.

The most important person I have to thank, among many others, is my darling husband, Stuart.  He was my biggest cheerleader and sacrificed our time together for a year. Thank you, my love.  

Xx 

Holly

P.S.  I received many inquiries about my Ballgown. Maria Pucci of Gramercy Atelier, NYC, and I designed my ballgown together and I love it! And, the white kid opera-length gloves were a kind gift from Cornelia-James in London.

White-tie Dress Code for Ladies

The Paradise Ball also honors Mrs. Post, who purchased her home in Palm Beach in 1922, the same year as the Salvation Army of Palm Beach County was founded. A double centennial celebration! Her gracious entertaining and philanthropy was world renown. She is elegantly dressed in this portrait, perfect for a White-tie Ball.

It is finally happening! After months of planning, and the joyful execution of three pre-celebratory events, The Salvation Army of Palm Beach County’s 100th anniversary, Paradise Ball, will take place this weekend!

While I have already discussed White-tie attire for men in a previous newsletter, a few of your inquiries prompted me to cover these additional details for ladies.

White-tie dress code for ladies:

The appropriate dress is a floor-length gown. If you always wanted to wear a Cinderella ballgown, this is your moment. Ballgowns and floor-length gowns contribute to the gracious old-world elegance of a White-tie Ball. Cocktail attire, semi-formal dresses and pantsuits are not worn. Think White House State dinner, or a Buckingham Palace Royal State Dinner. 

Shoes: 

Heels with a closed toe are traditionally worn, and not an open-toed shoe. Glass slippers? Doubtful! What about Dorothy’s “click-your-heels-sequin-sparkly” shoes? Definitely! Glittering silver or gold is always festive!  The most classic shoe of all is covered in peau de soie (silk/satin weave fabric) and may be in any color to complement the gown. 

Gloves:

Gloves are not required but are considered de rigueur. If you do choose to wear opera-length gloves, a bracelet may be worn over one glove, not both. Rings are not worn over a glove- and I doubt they would fit anyway! Remember, one may drink with gloves on, but one does not eat with gloves on. When dining, both gloves are either removed, folded in half, and placed on one’s lap, or unbuttoned under the wrist so the hand portion of the glove is tucked up inside the glove. 

Jewelry:

A must! This is the perfect opportunity to sparkle! Drop earrings, diamonds, and pearls, or other gemstones chosen to complement your gown will enhance your overall glamorous aesthetic. Brooches are worn over your heart, on your left side. 

Tiaras:

Tiaras (preferably inherited from the family) are only worn by married women or a bride. While appropriate for a White-tie event, they are traditionally worn only when the invitation indicates “White-tie with Decorations.” Although protocol has become more relaxed in America, many opt to wear a tiara to a White-tie event regardless.  

Hair:

If your hair is long, it should be pulled back or swept up in an updo. (Your drop earrings will have an opportunity to be seen and shimmer!) 

Evening purse:

Elegantly small in size, and in silk, satin, kid leather, or one that is jewel-like (my preference!). What do I carry inside my purse?

A tiny silver purse pen, two personal calling cards, lipstick, a tiny comb, a tiny powder, a tiny perfume, a safety pin, mad money (a $20 bill), and if space allows, a little embroidered hanky. My phone and eyeglasses never seem to fit, so my husband Stuart gets that privilege… one that he would gladly relinquish! 

What an honor to Chair the Paradise Ball! It has been a dream to work alongside my stellar and supportive team. This is a charity I truly believe in. Located in 131 countries and every zip code in America, the Salvation Army can be counted upon to be there in support of disasters and so much more. Each day, this faith-based charity feeds over 25 million people, including providing more than 225 million meals total and nearly 10 million lodgings. And most importantly, more donated dollars go directly to those in need than to overhead, unlike many other notable charities. Case in point: The Paradise Ball was underwritten with generous sponsors and ticket sales… thanks to many of you!

When you see the red kettle- think pink! Come and get involved with me. I am looking forward it seeing many of you, my darling subscribers, at the Ball. 

Xx

Holly 

What makes a proper dinner guest?

Do you need to sing for your supper? Oh yes, indeed you do!

As a guest, you are being treated to dinner, and your host is going out of their way to entertain and nourish you with their gracious hospitality, food, and drink. A proper guest knows how to acknowledge and show gratitude by being engaging and conversational with the other guests, as well as polite and appreciative. It is up to you to contribute to the evening by being charming with your conversation and joviality, especially if you want to be invited back! Nothing is worse than a guest who expects to be entertained or is a bore.  

Protocol for a proper dinner guest:  

Respond to an invitation within 48 hours or sooner! This affirms how enthused you are to attend.

Hosts go to great lengths to choose an invitation for an event. When you open up a stunning invitation, remark on it.  It is music to the ears of the hosts to learn that a guest is pleased to have received the invitation.

If you have allergies, food dislikes, or are a vegan or vegetarian, let the hostess know in advance of the party. This is your obligation as a good guest.

When you bring a gift to a party, do not expect the hostess to open it then. 

If you bring a gift bottle of wine, do not expect or ask for it to be served. The host has already chosen the appropriate wines to complement the dinner.

If you are unsure what the dress code is, ask the host in advance.

Know when to leave! This is paramount. You may think that you are the life of the party, but do not assume that your hosts want you to stay until the wee hours. 

If you are the guest of honor, it is up to you to leave first and say your adieu, so the other guests may leave after you. Remember, if your hosts genuinely want you to stay longer, they will convince you to do so! 

As a guest, take a moment to show your gratitude. Dinner parties take considerable effort to execute, so be the first to put pen to paper and write a meaningful thank you note (not an email!) to the host. Remark on specific details and efforts which made the evening magical and memorable.

Forbidden Faux Pas:

No-no: Forgetting to R.s.v.p. in advance of the party date.

No-no: Bringing a guest without getting approval from the host well in advance.

No-no: Changing your place card from where it was placed to a different spot on the table.

A host puts thought and consideration into how guests will be seated, even if it is a small gathering, so never be tempted to move your place card.

Grandmillennial Tip:

If you bring flowers to a dinner party, bring them in a vase so that the hostess does not have to leave her guests to arrange them. Having flowers delivered earlier in the day, or even the day before, is always a thoughtful gesture. If you do not know the color scheme of the host's house, send white flowers… a safe choice any time of the year!

XX 

Holly

Chargers: When NOT to use them!

For formal dinner parties, silver chargers are often used to enhance a festive dinner celebration at Fox Hall.

This is the week many of you will be setting a table for Thanksgiving! With that in mind, the topic of chargers came to mind. 

A “charger” is a plate that is more significant in diameter than a dinner plate. It is also referred to as a service plate or an underplate.  While chargers are used for decorative purposes these days, they were primarily used to protect the table from hot plates being placed directly on top of the table’s wood surface. They date back to the 15th century. Chargers vary in size from 11-14" in diameter.  

Food is never served on the actual charger. Instead, the dinner plate is placed on top of the charger.  Additional courses may be served on the charger too.  

Do you know when NOT to use a charger?  The dessert course!  A charger is permanently removed before the dessert course is served.

Chargers have become a popular decoration for dinner tables in recent decades and are made of various materials with endless color options. The most traditional style of charger is made of porcelain or silver. For formal dinner parties, I prefer silver because I think it complements the other silver accouterments on my table (candlesticks, wine coasters, flatware, serving pieces) and adds a hint of glamour. 

A charming “ladies' luncheon” was hosted in my honor as the Chair of the Paradise Ball for the Salvation Army in a very notable Palm Beach home. The hostess had a perfectly divine buffet arranged in the dining room, and as the guests entered the “party sunroom,” they were greeted by the pretty floral Herend serving plates at each place setting.

Chargers are often used to decorate the table for visual interest and then removed, as is often done in private clubs or restaurants. For example, at the Palm Beach Yacht Club, a handsome cobalt blue and gold charger featuring the Club insignia greets guests at the table. When a cocktail is ordered there, it is served on top of the charger. The charger is then removed before the guest's first course is served.

Chargers are rarely used in a proper English country house. My dear friend, the Executive Director of The English Manner, William Hanson, with his brilliant British sense of humor, summarizes the use of chargers: “They serve no practical use as you do not eat off one and are - frankly- a waste of money!"

At a White House dinner, a handsome gold-enhanced charger, created in honor of President Dwight Eisenhower, adds to the formality of the table.

Grandmillennial Tips:

I like to think of ways to repurpose silver.  My service plates (chargers) are occasionally placed underneath flower arrangements.  It not only collects the fallen pollen but also serves to enhance, reflect and frame the arrangement!

Pretty porcelain chargers may also be used as unique artwork by using plate hangers to create a design on a wall.

Consider using a charger to serve hors d'oeuvres. They are the perfect size for small gatherings.

A charger can also be used to enhance your flower arrangement!

Happy Thanksgiving to you all!  I am ever so grateful for your worldwide support and subscribership. You will be counted in my blessings. Gobble gobble! 

XX 

Holly

Perfect Punch: The “Secret” Holden Party Punch!”

What fun we had creating a video about Holden Punch! My darling daughter-in-law, Karen, convinced me to share the secret recipe with you.

It is that time of year again! The Holidays are coming. So, why not serve a festive punch?  Your guests will be pleased… as punch!  

My secret “Holden Punch” has become a traditional libation that our guests have now come to expect at Fox Hall and Fox Worth… and they are rawwwther disappointed if it does not greet them! In addition to having a bar, I find it easy to offer a punch versus a signature cocktail because the punch is prepared in advance, and voila, guests can also help themselves! 

Where did “punch” initially come from? British sailors brought it back to Europe from their travels to the colonies in India during the 16th century. Nutmeg was the most valuable product imported from there, and it was also the spice used in punch.  Because of that, punch became fashionable for aristocrats and the elite in Europe, and eventually in America too. In 1655, Jamaican rum became quite popular when brought back from the West Indies, and because of this, rum punch became favored in the Western World.

The word punch may have come from the Hindu word “panch,” meaning “five” and translates to the five ingredients found in most punches: sweet, sour, spice, alcohol, and water. This is certainly applicable to Holden Punch! 

At Fox Hall, Holden Punch is presented in a large, silver Revere bowl on a silver platter, along with a punch ladle. A floating ice ring with sliced lemons, limes, cherries, and even holly leaves dresses it up with a pretty garnish on top.

My ice ring, released from the mold, is ready to be placed on top of the punch before serving.

A traditional punch cup is just too small and dainty for my party guests, so I use my own rendition of a punch cup: crystal brandy snifters! When placed around the punch bowl, they add a festive sparkle! 

My punch bowl is placed at one end of the dining room table for large cocktail parties or on the sideboard for smaller gatherings.  Back by popular demand, here is my recipe!

The “secret” recipe for Holden Punch:

4 cups light rum (can also be dark!)

2 cups of brandy (your choice!) 

2 cups lemon juice- use “ReaLemon” in a bottle (even better, freshly squeezed lemon juice) 

1 cup sugar

½ cup peach brandy (or a scant more!)

⅛ teaspoon nutmeg (for tradition) 

Mix the above before the party in a mixing bowl or pitcher. 

When ready to serve, pour the mixture into a punch bowl and stir in 5 lbs of ice! Add the ice ring as a garnish and serve with a ladle. 

Add more ice as needed.

Note: This is half of the recipe. It makes enough for 35 people- double it, and it's enough for 70!  It is very similar to Fish House Punch. 

Grandmillennial Tips:

A glass, porcelain, or silver bowl can be used.  Another option is to serve the punch from a pitcher… easy! 

If you don’t have brandy snifters, use “old-fashioned cocktail” glasses. 

Make an ice ring in a round or crescent-shaped gelatin mold. I first line the mold with Saran Wrap because it makes the ice ring, once frozen, easy to remove! Then, for color, sprinkle slices of lemons, limes, cherries, raspberries, strawberries, or oranges in the mold, cover with water, and freeze. 

Holden Punch is indeed alcoholic and only for adults. For children, I serve sparkling cider, which can be served in a punch bowl too, or simply served in a pretty glass along with a cherry or two, as a special drink. 

Punch is also a festive libation to serve at ladies’ showers, club meetings, and even for an evening book club. It definitely contributes to a JOLLY atmosphere! 

Cheers! And, Happy Thanksgiving wishes to all of you! 

xx Holly

Soft Lighting: A secret to elegant entertaining!

The hall chandelier, along with five other large fixtures, were all candle-lit when my family and I moved into Fox Hall twenty years ago. Lighting the forty-seven candles necessary to entertain in the evening was a bit daunting, so over time, we replaced them with electrified chandeliers!

Soft lighting is an essential aspect of entertaining because it enhances your guests’ visual experience by creating a dreamy, mystical, and almost magical ambiance to interiors. Candlelight and soft dimmed light impart an enchanting mood that your guests will experience in the evening. The artwork, food, and decorative details suddenly transform from the expected normal bright daylight (which creates harsh shadows) into a more captivating and romantic encounter. Everything and everyone looks more attractive with soft, diffused lighting!

When renovating or building a house, remember that you can never have too many dimmers installed. Use them to your advantage! For lamps, install forty to sixty-watt soft light bulbs in lamps, or have a three-way switch to lower the bulb's light. Soft pink bulbs in lamps offer exceptional light to anyone seated nearby- an entertaining secret that ladies adore!

At dusk, my chandelier lights are a wee bit brighter than when it becomes dark. Once it is dark outside, I make a concerted effort to dim overhead lights more than you would expect because it immediately transforms a room and the guests within... in a very positive way! A key part of entertaining is making the effort to ensure that your guests are comfortable.

I will never forget the majestic evening when Stuart and I dined at Buckingham Palace in the Picture Gallery for the 75th anniversary of The Animal Health Trust. Princess Anne was the patron. The only light present at this intimate dinner was the picture lights gracing the momentous artwork hung upon the coral, silk damask upholstered walls, and a few softly lit wall sconces with silk shades... magical!

xx Holly

Charming Centerpieces!

Saddle up! I hosted an impromptu “debut-dinner party” to celebrate my new line of porcelain, the Equestrian Collection, with a few dear friends and chose a few equine decorative accessories to complement the place setting. (Ever wonder why some horses have a red bow tied on their tail? The red bow serves as a visual warning to other riders: Watch out… he is a “kicker!”)

Setting a table and choosing a unique centerpiece is similar to choosing the right invitation design: it sets the scene for a memorable party. Sometimes, I stop and look at a particular piece in Fox Hall or Palm Beach, which will then spark an idea for a theme for a dinner party. A sculpture, a piece of porcelain, or a unique decorative accessory, and I’m off to the races! 

The centerpiece is the focal point on a dining room table.  Flowers certainly are a traditional choice, but it can be rewarding to think out of the box to decorate your table with one pretty piece or several unique objects from around your house. The table can become a miniature stage; let your creativity soar. I am such an advocate for “repurposing” beautiful objects that you already own!  

When you collect art that speaks to your heart, your pieces tell a story and reflect your passions and hobbies, a justifiable reason to collect goodies that you enjoy seeing and using daily. (Horses and foxes come to mind!)  Almost anything is fair game to set the scene on your table, as long as it does not block the view of your seated guests.

Unlike a floral centerpiece, a silver sculpture is a stunningly timeless decorative element that will last forever!

Create a centerpiece that complements the guest of honor, the theme of the celebration, and the room design. The plates you choose should harmonize with the centerpiece. For the Equestrian Collection, I was inspired to use a horse sculpture, antique Staffordshire “huntsman” place card holders, and silver mint julep cups filled with roses. If I had enough of Tootsie Roll’s snaffle bits, I would have used them too!

Speaking of snaffle bits, forgive my unbridled enthusiasm! I am beyond excited about how well-received the Equestrian Collection has been. Thank you for your splendid orders. Please share this link with others to order today!
 

The Equestrian Collection: a premium porcelain five-piece place setting elegant in design with a modern flair suited to dress the table of every Equestrian Aficionado.  Life is a gallop and a dash!
 

Xx

Holly 

White tie Dress Code for Gentlemen

Photo credit: @bespokennotbroke

There is something magical about attending a White tie Ball!  An elegant, festive aura surrounds a ballroom when graced with ladies in sumptuous long gowns, sparkling with jewelry and handsome gentlemen, dapper in tails; an image that reflects a gracious, romantically genteel time. 

With the upcoming “Paradise Ball” celebrating the Salvation Army of Palm Beach County’s centennial, several young gentlemen have contacted me and inquired about the correct aspects required for a White tie dress code. Here we go!

A White tie dress code has been the most traditional “formal” attire since the 1800’s. It is also cited as “full evening dress” and informally referred to as “tails.”  

Our son, Stuart III, in White tie, escorted our daughter, Caroline, when she was presented at The Infirmary Ball in NYC in December 2002.

A proper White tie ensemble includes the following:

• A black tailcoat (with tails) and matching trousers

• A waistcoat (vest) in white cotton pique

• A white shirt with a white pique bib front

• White suspenders

• Studs with matching cufflinks

• A white pique hand-tied bow tie

• Black silk over-the-calf socks

• Black shiny patent leather pumps

Optional accessories: white kid-leather gloves, a white evening scarf in silk or cashmere, a gold pocket watch, or a black top hat.  (The “Putting on the Ritz” cane? Leave that behind!)

A fond memory: Stuart and I before meeting Prince Edward at a White tie ball in London at St James Palace, twenty-five years ago. White tie dress code has not changed since the 1800's…talk about timeless attire!

A black tailcoat features a pair of tails reaching the back of a gentleman’s knees. The black trousers, in the same fabric, have either a double or single stripe of satin or grosgrain ribbon along the two outseams of each pant leg. 

 The trousers do not require a belt, so they must fit well and have a higher cut at the waist so that the waistcoat (vest) will cover the waistband of the trousers. White suspenders hold up the trousers.

A proper waistcoat (vest) in white pique fabric (aka Marcella in the UK) is similar to a vest. It is backless and has a U-shape or V-shape opening in the front.  A single-breasted waistcoat is closed with 2-3 buttons, while a double-breasted one has four buttons.  The buttons may be covered in white pique fabric, made of mother-of-pearl, or with custom studs.  It has an adjustable neck strap to raise or lower the length of the waistcoat as needed.  The white waistcoat should be longer or NOT peek out under the black tailcoat. Well-made waistcoats may offer a loop that attaches to the waistband of the trousers so that the waistcoat will not raise, exposing the trouser waistband. 

The White tie winged dress shirt is different from the Black tie dress shirt, even though both are white.  The White tie dress shirt has a distinctive, inset “bib-like” front. (The Black tie shirt has pleats in the front.)  The shirt may have a detachable, wing-tip collar with buttons to attach it to the shirt. Some shirts offer a loop in the back of the collar to hold the bow tie in place.  The shirt cuffs require cufflinks to match the button studs in the front of the shirt. Traditionally, a  ¼” of the white cuff peeks out from under the tailcoat sleeves. 

The bow tie is the same white cotton pique fabric as the waistcoat. To be noted, the bow tie must be hand-tied, not “pre-tied.”  The butterfly bow tie has a curved shape to the bow. The other option is the batwing bow tie, which is straight, not curved. (I prefer the butterfly shape.) 

While “no socks” are the chic norm in Palm Beach, for a White tie event, black silk (or a silk/wool blend) over-the-calf socks are a must.

Proper shoes are shiny black patent leather pumps, preferably with a grosgrain bow, also called opera pumps or court shoes. The second option is lace-up black patent leather dress shoes. (Not my preference.) 

In place of a white pocket square, a white boutonniere may be pinned over the pocket on the tailcoat, but not both. (A white gardenia boutonniere continues to be my traditional favorite.)

If an invitation indicates “White tie with Decorations,” another level of formality is expected, with honorary medals, sashes, and neck badges worn by the recipient that received/earned them. I will discuss the protocol for this at another time. Decorations are not worn to a White tie event unless specifically indicated on the invitation. 

 No-no’s to know!

No-no: To wear a pre-tied bow tie.  

The white pique bow tie should always be hand-tied. (When in doubt, practice tying a bow tie around your leg. It is similar to tying a shoelace!) 

No-no: To wear a belt.

One does not wear a belt with evening wear. 

No-no: To mix and match any part of Black tie attire, suit attire, or a white dinner jacket, with a White tie ensemble.

My darling daughter, Alexandra, on her wedding night, with her husband, Maximilian. They are listening to a joyful toast being made to them at their White tie reception in Berlin, Germany.

To be noted, at The Paradise Ball, Black tie may be worn in lieu of White tie.

If you do not own a White tie ensemble and wish to rent one in Palm Beach, The Tux Shop Palm Beach is kindly offering a discount for a White tie outfit if you mention “Salvation Army- Paradise Ball!”  Located at 4550 PGA Boulevard, Palm Beach Gardens, FL.  (561) 626-8899

To purchase Paradise Ball tickets click here! 

Ready to dance the night away, gentlemen?

Xx

Holly 

Menu Cards!

When I hosted a ladies' luncheon for fifty in May on the verandah at Fox Hall, I chose to slip the menu card inside the top of each napkin so that a breeze would not blow it away.

With the upcoming Salvation Army of Palm Beach County’s “Paradise Ball”approaching, we will be designing a menu card. After the food and wine tasting have taken place, we can then choose what the menu will be on the menu cards. Having a menu card for an event elevates the occasion and honors the celebration. 

A menu card enables guests to know what courses to expect, which also allows them to know what will be served and to avoid potential food allergies. 

A menu card can become a keepsake for guests to take home, which is a good reason to indicate the date and occasion on the card.  It can also commemorate a guest of honor. 

Menu cards are printed vertically and are approximately 5" x 8" in size (give or take an inch in each direction).  My menu cards are a custom-made, 120-pound stock white paper with an image of Fox Hall printed on the top center and are 4 1/4" wide x 5 1/2" high.

Round edges on the card, which is a European touch, are an aesthetically pleasing detail.  Black is the most classic and formal ink color, although gold or colored ink can be used to complement the design on the card and the theme of the occasion too.

Menu cards can be placed in various positions on the table setting: to the left of the forks, on the butter plate (sans butter), on the dinner plate, or on top of the napkin. It may also be placed upright in a menu card holder which is similar to a place card holder, and stand above the dinner plate or the butter plate. For large charity functions, it can be printed within the program to be more cost-effective. 

Include the date and year on your menu cards as a memento of the celebration.

My husband, and two other darling friends, share a similar birth date in April with the zodiac sign of the Ram, hence the title "Rambunctious Rams!” As our guests adjourn from dinner, often Stuart will create a festive firework display that can be viewed from the verandah at Fox Hall.

This menu card represents a VERY memorable dinner for me at Dr. and Mrs. Paul R.C. Sullivan's stunning home. I was seated next to Jerry Franklin, the CEO of Connecticut Public Television. How serendipitous! Jerry and I ended up creating a pilot TV episode in that very same house, which led to my television series. This menu card is a “keeper!”

These are two royal invitation images I found:

Grandmillennials:

Menu cards, without the menu, can also be doubled as impromptu note cards. 

Remember, as a gracious guest, take responsibility to alert your hostess well before the event date if you have food allergies.  Nothing is worse for a hostess than finding out one of the guests is a vegetarian or has allergies after they have been seated at the dinner table! 

Xx

Holly

The House of Scalamandre: You are invited!

Exemplary trims from the House of Scalamandre complement the magnificent silk from their stunning line of Tassinari and Chatel. Photo credit: tassinarietchatel

The name “Scalamandre” conjures visions of interior design elegance.  When I started my interior design business in 1989, the one trade account I could not wait to open was with the world-renowned House of Scalamandre!  Besides their magnificent handmade French trims (dreamy) and their stunning fabrics and wallpapers (timelessly exquisite), it was their selection of exceptional silks that gave me visions of sugarplums and continues to inspire me to create sumptuous curtains, “palace-worthy” wall upholstered rooms, and the regal decorative details that serve to enhance and complement inviting interiors, the rooms you never want to leave.   

With that said, come, see and experience the enchanting House of Scalamandre showroom for yourself! You are cordially invited by Scalamandre to join me in NYC this Wednesday, October 12th, at noon, at the D&D (Decoration and Design) building, in their Scalamandre Showroom!  They are graciously hosting a lovely Pink Party reception, with yummy libations, which will then be followed by a panel discussion with Vincent Pennetier of Tassinari and Chatel, the exceptional silk weavers since 1680 (of Lyon, France), and me.  

Tassinari and Chatel have been producing world-class silks for over three centuries.  They grace the most notable palaces and residences in the world.  You will be treated to stunning visuals and learn the captivating history and present-day application of silk fabrics, the historical use of vibrant colors, and you will understand the charm of hand-woven silks… the appreciation of imperfections as an art form. Documentary fabrics with historic provenance have always appealed to me because there is an intriguing story behind the design, adding authenticness. Our informative twenty-minute presentation will delight your eyes and serve to inspire you cleverly.

Photo credit: lelievreparis

Following our discussion, the reception will continue, and I will be signing my interior design books, The Pretty & Proper Living Room and Pearls of Palm Beach.  I am tickled pink to be at Scalamandre in NYC to celebrate the world of classic design and prettiness with you. I would adore meeting you in person, so I truly hope you can attend!  RSVP here! 

It is my honor to also be one of the Keynote Speakers for the D&D Fall Market. For those of you “In the Trade,” please join us at 11 am, before the Scalamandre event. The topic, “From Castles to Cottages and Everything In Between,” will be discussed with a stupendous panel of world-class designers, one of which is Brian J. McCarthy, whom my daughter, Caroline, had the privilege of working with for five years in NYC. I can’t wait!  

Xx

Holly

A Diamond Tiara: The Protocol For Wearing One!

Her Majesty The Queen is seen here wearing the lovely Queen Mary’s Girls of Great Britain and Ireland tiara, which is thought to have been one of her favorites, passed down from her grandmother and lovingly referred to within the family as “Granny’s tiara.” It was a gift to Queen Mary from her ladies-in-waiting on her wedding day to King George V.

A sparkly diamond tiara! Who wouldn’t want to wear one?! 

A tiara is often considered the most prized jewelry piece in a ladies’ jewelry repertoire. Its noble history and elegant sparkle lend a stunning aura to any lady who wears it. There is something magical, majestic, and tres grand that a tiara represents. So, if you are tempted to wear one, you may want to be privy to the appropriate protocol:

~ Tiaras are reserved for formal events: a White-tie ball, an occasion of state, coronations, royal dinners, and for a bride to wear at her wedding.  

~ According to English protocol, diamond tiaras are only worn by married women or members of the royal family. (Most royals wear their first tiara on their wedding day.) An unmarried woman does not wear a tiara.  Hence, a diamond tiara brilliantly serves as a status symbol for a married woman, equivalent to a wedding ring. It is an outward display that she is married and, hence, not looking for a husband. 

Kate Middleton, on her wedding day in 2011, was lent the Cartier Halo tiara by The Queen. It was originally bought by The Duke of York for The Queen Mother, and then given to The Queen on her 18th birthday.

~Traditionally, a bride will wear her first tiara on her wedding day, which comes from her family’s collection.  Lady Diana wore her Spencer family tiara on her wedding day. (Quite often, the tiara is given as an 18th birthday present but not worn until her wedding day.)  Nowadays, however, it is acceptable to wear the future husband’s family’s tiara. The bride will change over to her husband’s family’s tiara, if there is one, once she is married. A long-established tradition is to have a diamond tiara passed down through one's family. 

~ Like the old-school “no diamond jewelry while the sun is up” rule,  tiaras are reserved for events after five in the evening or after sunset. (The exception is that a bride may wear a tiara at a daytime wedding.) 

~ Conventionally, tiaras were worn only in private residences (not in a hotel or public space), except for a bride’s wedding day. This rule has become more relaxed, and tiaras are acceptable at formal events outside of a private residence. 

~ A tiara is supported by a metal frame that is covered in velvet.  The velvet should be the same color as the lady’s hair, to blend in inconspicuously. Often, an additional braid of hair is added so that the metal frame can be sewn onto the braid to secure it.

~A tiara only covers half of the head because it is semi-circular, whereas a crown is circular and covers the whole head. 

As an interesting aside, Meghan Markle can no longer wear a tiara for diplomatic and royal functions since she’s relinquished her royal duties and no longer has the HRH title. And, I read that Queen Mary wore a tiara when she dined in private with her husband, George V.  While candlelight enhances the dinner table, I imagine dinner tastes even better with diamonds overhead! 

Grandmillennial Tip: 

If you do not own a tiara and are attending a formal event, consider using your diamond brooch to pull back your hair or embellish an updo, but ensure the jewels are well secured into your hair, so they do not fall out while dancing!

Xx

Holly

Opera-Length Evening Gloves- A White-Tie Event!

A pinnacle of regal elegance, HM The Queen, remains in our hearts worldwide.

As the Chair of the upcoming Salvation Army of Palm Beach County’s “Paradise Ball,” a centennial celebration this December, I have received several questions about the appropriate attire for a White-tie Ball. White-tie has been around for centuries and is the most formal dress code. 

For ladies, a floor-length evening gown and jewels are appropriate, and for gentlemen, a black jacket with tails (tails reach the back of the knees), accompanied by a white tie. (As an alternative to tails, a black tie tuxedo may be worn but is considered less formal.) I will address attire details at a later date.  

Let’s discuss opera-length gloves! Opera-length gloves are de rigueur for a White-tie event. They reach over the elbow and are the epitome of formal elegance. 

Ever since Queen Elizabeth II’s honeymoon, Cornelia James, who holds a Royal Warrant, made her gloves for over 70 years. I had the brilliant honor of speaking with Mr. Lawson, the MD of Business at Cornelia James, and his mother, Genevieve James, Creative Director and the daughter of Cornelia James. (She wrote this recent article about The Queen)

Opera-length gloves can be in leather, silk, or satin.  The most traditional, and my preference, are the very elegant, “white leather, full-length opera gloves with mousquetaire.” 

When our youngest daughter Caroline (in white) made her debut at The Infirmary Ball in New York City, it was a few days before Christmas. It was a magical evening with family and friends who came from afar to celebrate with us! It was the perfect occasion to wear opera-length gloves.

Here are a few etiquette guidelines you may wish to be privy to when wearing opera-length gloves:

Can you eat with gloves on?

Eating with gloves on, whether you’re standing or seated at a dining table, is not done. The mousquetaire “button” option allows one to unbutton the buttons under your wrist and semi-remove your gloves to dine.  Once the buttons are undone, a lady can then pull her hand out from the opening and tuck the remainder of the glove neatly up the wrist and inside the gloves.  

Alternatively, one may gracefully remove the gloves completely by gently pushing down the arm portion toward your wrist whilst pulling each finger until the glove slips off.  

If the gloves do not have the mousquetaire buttons, where does one place the evening gloves once they are removed while seated at a formal dinner?  

After you remove your gloves, fold them in half, and place them on your lap with your napkin over them. The gloves may be removed before being seated or at the dinner table. 

After dinner, one may put the gloves back on by first placing the hand in and working the glove up from the wrist, then gradually smoothing the glove up the arm. Try not to pull from the top.

Can you drink with gloves on?

Yes, it is acceptable to drink with your gloves on. 

May jewelry be worn on top of your gloves?

Yes, an evening bracelet may be worn over a glove, but not rings. (Note the photograph of Queen Elizabeth II above.) 

May I wear gloves other than the color white?

Yes, look at the color options that Cornelia James offers. 

Do you want to completely cover your arm with your opera gloves?

No, a bit of your arm should be showing.  So, if you have a capped sleeve, you may wish to rouche the top of the opera-length glove down a bit, because a portion of the arm should always be visible.

Do you wear evening gloves while dancing?

Yes, indeed! (Visions of the Ball in the movie, My Fair Lady, come to mind!) 

Should you wear your formal gloves when shaking hands or while standing in a receiving line? 

Yes, you may shake hands with evening gloves on, except when shaking hands with the President, the First Lady, or a high-ranking church or government official. 

When presenting your hand to be kissed, should you take your glove off? 

You may keep your glove on when your hand is being kissed by a gentleman. This is such a charming, old-world European tradition. I will never forget when my German son-in-law kissed my hand upon our first meeting… I thought to myself, he is a keeper. And he is! 

Grandmillennial Tips: 

It is important to have the gloves fit your hand and your arm perfectly, therefore it is best to have bespoke gloves. They are a timeless investment. Mr. Lawson kindly offered a 10% discount link to those ordering bespoke gloves. The measuring chart is below. The turnaround time is under two weeks at Cornelia James.

More detailed instructions on how to measure HERE.

It is such a delight to discuss various aspects of old-world elegance, a gracious time when gentle manners mattered.

Xx

Holly

The New York Social Diary- David P. Columbia!

Looking as dapper as ever, David Patrick Columbia embodies the essence of New York society with his clever wit and positive attitude.

Who is the mastermind behind THE New York Social Diary? 

I found out firsthand that David P. Columbia is a genius at storytelling. Imagine that! Our interview lasted two hours, but it felt like two minutes! 

The nature of social journalism is people interested in other people!  In 2000, David Patrick Columbia (DPC) created his legendary weekly online newsletter, the New York Social Diary (NYSD), where he cleverly chronicles NYC's social, historical, and cultural life, because people have aspirations and want to be inspired! There is a fine line between having a gossip publication and a socially informative one, the latter of which is the essence of NYSD. David’s writing is like fine wine. It tastes like velvet with subtle but complex nuances, with just the right touch of intrigue.  With one sip, you’ll only want more!  

Holly: I admire how you do not disparage people in NYSD.

There is a fine line between a gossip publication and a socially informative one. The latter is the reputation of NYSD.

David: If it is an interview, I ask questions… anything I want to ask. But if I am invited as a guest to your table, and I really don’t know you, I do not intrude on your privacy with any questions.

This is the team that created the New York Social Diary, Jeff Hirsch and David P. Columbia. They have been working together for over twenty-four years!

Holly:  Given all the brilliant parties you have attended in your life, does one sparkle in your memory bank more than any of the others?

David: One of the greatest dinner parties that I have ever attended in my life was hosted by Edie Goetz in LA.  Why?  Because it was perfect in every way!   Edith “Edie” Mayer Goetz hosted legendary dinners at her ‘Holmby Hills’ mansion, which was the epicenter of Hollywood for over twenty years. She was the “Queen of Hollywood!” The saying was, “What Edie wants, Edie gets!” Her father, Louis B. Mayer, built MGM into the most prestigious studio during Hollywood's golden age. Her sister, Irene, married Gone With the Wind producer and studio executive, David O. Selznick. And Edie's husband, Bill, ran 20th Century Fox and then Universal-International.

Holly: I read that Edie had over sixty Impressionist paintings, which echoed the smooth elegance of her persona. 

David:  Edie had a beautiful house.  I don’t know how many there were numbers-wise, but they filled the walls of her library, Living Room, Dining Room and entrance gallery, and bedroom. Over the fireplace was a van Gogh self-portrait. Actor-turned-decorator William Haines designed the pastel interiors.  She never discussed the interiors of the house, ever.  They were intended to look like her natural choices and collections. She created a very proper social atmosphere with staff and chefs, which complemented the elegant decor of her house. It was a beautiful environment; it was very, very special.

Holly:  In your eyes, what did Edie do that made her such an exceptional hostess?

David:  When you went to her house, no matter who you were, if you were invited to be her guest, everyone was treated the same, with the same respect and the same welcome.  At her house, everyone was treated well, comfortably, and equally. No one got more attention than anyone else, even the movie stars.  Everyone was equal.  Quite simply, everyone at Edie’s table was a guest of Edie before they were anything else. And everybody treated each other that way too!  Cary Grant was just like David P. Columbia at the table because we were Madam’s guests.   

Holly:  How did the evening evolve? 

David: Guests arrived promptly at 7:30 in the evening… you arrived on time! The food was perfect, the service was perfect, the timing was perfect, and it felt very easy... she entertained you. Drinks were served in the library. After drinks, one crossed the Living Room to the Dining Room. Dinner was presented superbly in a candlelit Dining Room that glowed all over, the food had the reputation of being the best in LA and was impeccably served. Her butler came from the Royal Household. They were not called Butlers in England but Footmen and served in all the royal households — Clarence House, Buck House, Windsor, Balmoral, etc. Edie’s staff were local except for the butler and the chef — those two were top of the market. 

Afterward, the evening concluded with a  screening in the Living Room. The screen was concealed in the ceiling until the process of screening began. It was surreal. Watching a film and sitting amongst the actors in the movie. And then, she said good night. Her sister, Irene, once wrote, “Entertaining became her career.”

Holly:  As a thoughtful hostess, ‘charm’ to me is an essential factor, as charm contributes to making your guests feel comfortable.  How do you describe real charm?

David: I learned early on in life that real charm is when people feel comfortable around you. You make people feel comfortable around you by being polite, paying attention, and being kind, even under circumstances where kindness is not the first choice!  Because I am “nice,” I have had many opportunities to see, hear, and experience. Maybe not opportunities to make a lot of money, but opportunities to move around and make the most of whatever I have! 

David hit upon the notes that I believe contribute to creating a meaningful life, including treating one another equally and understanding the essence of real charm… traits we admire and crave these days. 

Thank you, David, for this interview back in 2020 and for writing your clever chronicle about the social, historical, and cultural life of NYC. And, thank goodness, apres Covid, society is back in full swing! It would be lovely to you at the Salvation Army’s centennial “Paradise Ball” in December in Palm Beach! 

Xx

Holly

Grace: God Save The Queen

Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II was the epitome of GRACE.

“Grace” is described as dignity, elegance, and poise.  Her noble pledge of duty, loyalty to country, and quiet humility as the longest reigning British monarch, will continue to be revered and admired worldwide. 

She was remarkably hardworking, a selfless symbol, a genteel constant in this ever-changing world. She represented the essence of how one should conduct themselves. 

Queen Elizabeth II has exemplified “grace under pressure” with her principled composure and calming presence.

Good manners are about being respectful, and placing duty and others before oneself— politeness, respectfulness, and diplomacy. The world has been most fortunate to witness the long life of The Queen as a role model, leader, and guiding light of kindness and strength. 

There will never be another like you, Your Majesty.  You respected the crown; you made it sparkle.

God Save The Queen. 

And, Long Live His Majesty King Charles.